A Few Simple Rules For Eating At McDonalds

Let's face it, most of us eat at McDonalds even if it's only occasionally. They're fast, cheap(ish), mostly tasty and they are absolutely fucking EVERYWHERE. When you do find yourself failing to heed the warnings of Morgan Spurlock there are a few simple things you should be aware of.

  • If you order (2) packs of cookies you should not be surprised when you only receive (1) pack of cookies since there are actually 2 cookies in there.

  • I'm not sure if this is done by location, time of year or some random cookie algorithm but some McDonalds sell their cookies in packs of 2 while others sell them in packs of 3. It's a well known fact their employees aren't trained in proper cookie order taking techniques but if you order more than 1 pack of cookies they will repeat your order by multiplying the number of cookies in a pack by the number of packs you ordered. EG; You order 2 packs of cookies and they repeat your order by stating "You wanted 5 cookies?" WTF? 5 is not divisible by 2 OR 3. Just be patient and reiterate your order 4 or 5 times and they just might get it right.

  • A recent poll of McDonalds eating people across the world found that over 67.3245% of all incorrect orders happen at the drive through. So put on your best face, park and get out of your car and go inside to reduce your chances of a missing cheeseburger.

  • If and when you DO go inside, do not under any circumstances order using the fancy new touch screen kiosks. The menu items don't always match, you need to have at least a minimal understanding of Javascript coding and they're just plain gross. Every booger picking child in the town that McDonalds is located in has tried playing Tetris on all of them.

  • If you pull in to the drive through and order any drinks, know that you might be asked if you would like a drink carrier. Even if you order 15 drinks they'll have the nerve to ask if you need a drink holder.
    Check out my YouTube video on this one...

  • Finally, and this goes for dealing with any restaurant employee. Do not under any circumstances piss them off. These people go in the back and "prepare" your food. You do NOT want the special sauce!
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