Humor That is Wasted on Children

Please let that whimsical child in you shine on. However, there are pieces of humor that are a bit too sophisticated for a child (due to lacking a refined system of logic). An excellent example is the movie, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

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I wrote a poetic children's book that is meant to be read to them by an adult (to be handy for explanations). Have fun.

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I Wish I Were a Fish

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Animal fantasy is not just for every boy.
Daydreaming is a secret treasure and an untold joy.
Sometimes, even on rainy days, I lie across my bed.
Then amazing thoughts of amusements all dance inside my head.
The drumbeat, of the drops, upon the roof, is so mellow.
It makes me so glad that I am a happy young fellow.
My bare feet find their way to places where water does puddle.
They later go to hugging arms of Mom, who loves to cuddle.
I go to the window that is just above the sink.
The rhythmic music of the rain and water makes me think.

Ah, to play in all that water! I wish I were a fish!
Where I would live would be very important for my wish.
I’m sorry, but I really cannot be known as Spanish.
Let it be seen that I have nothing against the British.
I must first express a long-held, fancy, and dear belief.
Every sea creature should visit The Great Barrier Reef.
To make my main home in the crystal waters of Chile;
Well, for my grand plans, that would be decidedly silly.
I must say, “No ponds, rivers, lakes, or anything inland.”
My ultimate place will be in the blue seas of Finland.
For all those who will see my grand goal as strange and selfish,
I ruffle my gills with pride on being a Finnish fish.

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Have no fear about me being caught on an angler’s hook.
I’m a clever fish, and I go to school and read the book.
Some would say that I’m the teacher’s pet and head of the class,
If I ride the beautiful surf, as a great striped bass.
Oh, to catch that one special wave like the Big Kahuna,
Is not something reserved for only a Blue Fin Tuna.
Was I something as large as a sleek five-hundred-pounder,
My efforts on all the Fish Playgrounds would never flounder.
Is it possible that some would think my humor is dark,
For me to desire to be a ferocious Great White Shark?
As a bird, free across the sky, I swim high and down low.
In ocean currents, I glide: flipping my tail as I go.

Then again, if I was ever a simple red herring,
No one would bother asking me what I might be wearing.
Should I find myself in the midst of other fine Crappie,
You would probably guess that I would always be happy.
Even though I might be a young, shimmering Northern Pike,
You could be sure that I’d be known as a glad little tyke.
To suck in my food like through a straw would be quite a thrill.
Of course, then I might be a fat, little, copper Bluegill.
And I need not be a great Blue Whale in order to spout.
You’d be surprised what I can do if I were a Brown Trout.
Maybe, it might even seem that I am often boasting.
Actually, I am giving new meaning to coasting.
Awakening from my dream of being with the fishes,
Mom says that tonight, it’s my turn to swish the dishes.

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