The title sounds a bit too formal but really this is all just me and my daughter talking to each other, giving each other comments, reactions, and feedback to each other about the week that passed. Fridays is our Feedback, assessment, and evaluation day. This is when we spend time with each other, focusing on giving the most objective feedback and observation we can give to each other.
We have settled into the 4-day study week and everyone in the family is happy about it. Tatay has concerns at first but whenever he listens to his daughter talk and just speak her mind, he gets reassured that the 4-day week is effective. I love it because it gives me time to focus on other things like the book club I joined in a few weeks ago. I get to talk with other homeschooling moms that also use the Charlotte Mason method of teaching, we get to study CM books and just talk about out thoughts and doubts and then motivate and uplift each other. My daughter loves it because she has more time for other stuff like boxing, playing, dance, reading, etc. She is particularly enthusiastic about Fridays because she gets to give feedback too.
How we do our Feedback session
There's nothing too formal about it, We don't even have a schedule for it. We sometimes do it in the afternoon, sometimes in the morning, last Friday, we did it on the ride to the grocery. I thought about bringing my grading sheet and do a performance review on her tasks, assignments, and copyworks. That could work, but I wanted it to be more personalized and a lot more inviting for open talk.
We open by me giving her the feedback. I do the kiss, kick, and kiss kind of feedback. I start with something she did really well. It could be a copywork, an art work, the way she handled a situation, or even a habit that she's starting to form. It helps that she get that good feeling because then, she will be very receptive with what's coming next.
She's a perfectionist and as such, she has the tendency of being defensive when given constructive feedback. We had to work through getting her to feel at peace with the thought that people make mistakes and that it is a natural thing. During our orientation at the start of this schoolyear, I have explained to her that she will receive feedback both real-time (during our discussions) and a deeper dive during Fridays. This helped set her expectations about hearing things that she might be uncomfortable hearing.
Then lastly, as I close my feedback session with her, I give her a positive comment about her general behavior towards things and people, or maybe the progress of her ongoing project, and how she is progressing in our homeschooling journey. Here, we discuss even the smallest wins, and we celebrate them.
Each of us gets to receive and give a feedback. Nanay and Aya has a session, Tatay and Aya also has a feedback session. And in those sessions, both teacher and student gets the chance to provide feedback for each other. If you come to think of it, whenever we do our study time, the learning depends both on the student and the teacher. Which is why the student should also get the chance to say what she has observed on the way she is being taught.
Why we do the feedback Sessions
When I wrote about Grading a couple of months ago, I talked about grades as a guide to improve oneself, not to compete with each other. Since we do not delve too much on the numbers that we see on the report card, I figured we need a feedback session just so we will see where we need to improve on. Our feedback session is a lot more personalized and addresses scenarios that directly benefits both parties.
This is also a training for her to speak up her mind with openness and honesty. Most people find it hard to give a truthful and straightforward feedback especially to people of authority. Our feedback sessions serve as regular drills for her to practice offering objective feedback to people older than her.
It's easy to give positive feedback. That's something that makes the giver and receiver feel good. But not everyday is a wonderful day. I know some people find it challenging to express their appreciation by providing positive feedback but between appreciation and criticism, I find the latter more difficult. There are instances when one needs to give the most honest feedback they can offer. Most of the time people skip that uncomfortable feeling of having to tell the other something negative even if they really need to. These feedback sessions we do in our homeschooling journey aim to teach her to overcome that hurdle when giving an honest negative feedback. It's surprising and interesting to hear about the observations that a child.
After our feedback session, we also discuss what our thoughts are about the feedback that we receive. We celebrate the progress and wins. Those things help us get through the week. Then we ponder on the things that we need to improve on. I get to hear her side of things, without her having to feel defensive about it. It is also refreshing to see the plans she come up with to work on her areas of improvement.
Conclusion
I am a firm believer that every child is their own person. As such, the parent's job is to get to know the real them. And the best way to do this is to hear them out while they give their most honest thoughts during feedback sessions. The early on they feel at ease with speaking their mind, the better. The challenge here is getting them to trust that they are free to speak up with all truthfulness. Once they feel that safe space, you eill be surprised at the honest things that a child tells. Believe me, I've always been a victim of the brutal honesty of a child.
