A shit ton of things have been plaguing my mind for the past few months. Sometimes I feel like I am having a good life and this whole shit cannot get any better, next thing everything comes crashing down pillaging my happiness. I am not one to really fumble about delicate topics like this. Maybe that is the problem even. Maybe I have intentionally avoided this type of feeling or emotion. One of the most difficult questions I have encountered is when I am asked to describe myself. It's as confusing as it is startling for me. I think @osarueseosato puts it perfectly;
Stoic by Day, Nihilist by night
Wait, I think it's the other way round, I'm not so sure.
I couldn't think of a better title to this post, forgive me. I actually picked it from Rick and Morty; the classic animated TV series by Dan Harmon and Justin Roiland. If you haven't, You should check it out. OKAY, I should give some context. I've been yapping about random jargon for a minute now. So in this particular scene, Jerry decided to take his kids (Summer and Morty smith) and wife (Beth Smith/Sanchez) and of course, his father-in-Law (Beth's father), Rick Sanchez on a camping trip to be one with nature. As you would expect, it did not go as planned. The kid's rebel, his wife went with her father, and of course, Rick being a nihilistic, self-loathing cunt, "Fucked a planet". Yep, that's right. Literally. I don't want to get into details, lol, but what I am trying to say is, nature can be destructive and also it can be therapeutic; you choose. You can choose to mess with it and all or you can choose to understand and be in sync with it. At the end of the episode, (After a lot of crazy shit, like Jerry starting his own clan, Rick creating a self-sustaining society of his own kids, haha, and the kids getting out of a horrible situation with their drug-taking and video game skills) the family gets out of the whole mess together. I feel like I didn't achieve what I wanted with this story, haha.
oh well
For the past nine months I have lived in a remote, self-sufficient community where I seldom go out and that has completely rewired my brain. (oh, by the way, those fellas in white cassock are seminarians). I have had a complete change of perspective, I have come in contact with wildlife; okay slight exaggeration, but I guess snakes and scorpions count? Basically, I have experienced it all, and it's one I wouldn't trade for anything. Maybe a few things, or a lot. I have had to get up as early as 4:45 AM every morning since the beginning of this year to go join for Lauds (just google it). Each time I have seen the day breaking. Light overtaking darkness and that has been magical. Light is not just the opposite of darkness, it's the absence of it. (yeah, think about that for a minute).
I hope any of this makes sense
PS- All the weird sunset images were taken by me with my phone. Cheers.