There are two weeks left before my visa expires and I haven’t submitted the documents yet. I got everything ready on my end but the small company that was nice enough to sponsor me is going out of their way to help and wasn’t prepared for this so they need to get some documents together on their end. I can’t complain, they have no reason to help me other than that they know I do good work and want me to stay in Japan, but this is way more responsibility than I want to put on them. It’s the only way to stay here though, so all I can do is wait.
Hopefully my application gets submitted this week and doesn’t have any problems. If there are any problems whatsoever, I only have a week to fix them. It’s cutting it really freakishly close.
But I’m already used to these close calls. This is what’s happened every single year since I came back. I hired a consultant to fix this and see if I could get a 3 year visa but he said next year at the earliest and only if I can make more money and stick with the same sponsor.
I could complain but I don’t even see the point anymore. It is what it is.
(Image by AI)
It is my nature to prepare for all possible outcomes so I’m wondering what i will do if the visa doesn’t go through. Should I get married to my partner to stay in Japan once she is working? Should I try to relocate to Thailand and bring her over once I’m ready? Should I head back to America and live with my family for a while? Should I try to travel despite the fact that I’m still fixing my back issues and try to fix them as I go?
None of these are likely as I feel pretty confident that I will get the visa but I know how it hurts to be put in those situations without some kind of emotional or mental preparation so I need to consider it.
The idea of traveling excites me but I feel very strongly that it’s not quite time yet. Since my partner started working, I’m set up to have a much easier time in Japan with two salaries in one household for the first time since we met 8 years ago. We have basically gone back and forth working and spent 2 years long distance, paying for two apartments.
With two salaries I will be free to travel as soon as my back is feeling better and go join some fun events to connect with people since everything in Japan costs money.
I realized that the only things I dislike about living in Japan could be improved upon if I have more energy to put towards making things happen, it’s all due to not having enough energy. I have so much energy inside but it doesn’t translate well when my body is lagging behind.
Once my condition is a little more stable I plan to initiate conversation with a lot more strangers. I want to start a kind of weekly art jam. I want to podcast regularly. I want to go to music festivals and see if I can start some projects with artists I like here. I want to see if I can host some concerts or small festivals myself. I will write a lot more music and finish my novels and go out into the world to share my projects with more people who I think will appreciate them.
My mind and my heart is ready. My body is starting to catch up. I am healing and I am ready.
One thing is certain, I will never take my body for granted again. I will make use of all the energy I have to create and share. I won’t waste any opportunities ever again. I will face my fears.
If I am not meant to do all these things than life can strike me down now. But I’ve come this far and there’s no way I could have done that if I wasn’t meant for greater things. All of my problems have sculpted me into exactly who I need to be in order to live out my dreams. And so I intend to.
I have already climbed my way out of hell. Now I intend to build heaven with my own hands.
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