La, la, la, it’s a snow day, had more than a few snow job days lately, minus any sign of white flakey stuff, until this week. Booted up, over a foot deep, chilled my toes, not nose, but finger button froze. I did two shoots; one in the late afternoon hours, one after dark. Admitting here, I was excited for the first time in years about snow. This kind of storm has become rare where I live. I felt like a child again. It was really strange. It was frozen fun.
SNOW HAZE SOLITARY
VEGETATIVE REMAINS
I wandered along the city streets slowly, shooting whatever caught my eye. I had to pause to warm my hands since I didn’t bother with gloves. They don’t work well with a camera. I’ve always had a dislike of gloves between me and whatever tools I’m using, except when I’m welding metal. No choice there for obvious reasons.
RED BERRY BRANCH
SNOWY RED REFLECTION
Intentions, so many intentions that shift like snowdrifts sculpted by wind. People have all kinds of intentions and motivations for their choices, their behaviour. Often, I find myself sifting through this when I meet people. I need to know where someone is at. How much can I connect with them and in what ways? What motivations are present in a person? What are they seeking in their connection to me? These are questions I never asked myself when I was younger.
RED BERRY
The regular refrain I’ve heard for too long is, “I hate people”. It’s such a constant repetition that I was compelled to look at it more closely. You see, I don’t hate people. I don’t know how to do that. It’s behaviour I dislike at times, always the behaviour, not the person.
SNOWY GOLD REFLECTION I
If you are someone who “hates people”, do you not also hate yourself, since you are a person? Imagine two dogs at a park, sitting down having a bark chat about dogs. One dog says to the other, “I hate dogs”. The other dog looks over and says, “I hate dogs too”. Beyond the fact that dogs don’t speak words, does that scenario make any logical sense to you? It adds up to nonsense for me, even if I’m pressured to get on the hate people train and agree. Don’t expect me to agree with you on hate. It’s not happening.
SNOWY GOLD REFLECTION II
Behaviour, now we’re talking! That’s what has prompted the direction of this post, some crappy behaviour from several people. It’s annoying. It’s tiresome. It tries my patience. It tests my nature. It tests me. How will I respond to such behaviour? I have a lot of rules for myself. More rules than the government can dream up laws. I have to answer to myself every day for my thoughts, choices, and behaviours. I don’t need a babysitter to guide me through life. If I do, then I have a serious problem on my hands.
SNOWY GOLD REFLECTION III
I’ve had to draw the line with several people, more than few times in recent months. They didn’t like it. They never do. There’s always some blowback smack down flack in return, while they spurn. It’s not them, it’s me. Finger forked repeatedly. Nice. Really nice. Not. Crappy behaviour from people ill-equipped at managing themselves. Nothing new. This is a lifecycle rinse repeat experience of being human. A game for all to play.
SINGLE ICICLE SNOW STAB I
SINGLE ICICLE SNOW STAB II
Do I hate them for it? No. At the same time, I have to establish a boundary around behaviour that is not acceptable to me. This gets dicey after I’ve delivered a gentle repeat no, stop, needle stuck in the record groove hitting the same bump. Behaviour continues grinding the same track. They aren’t hearing me. They aren’t listening regardless of how I frame and reframe the image for them.
SNOWY WROUGHT IRON I
SNOWY WROUGHT IRON II
I’m out of patience after multiple repeats. The boot comes down. All nicey, nicey, polite feelies are finished.I’m down to business. I’m going to be very direct, point out the behaviour clearly, and identify where my line is. I’m used to people being ticked off at me, not liking me, and on and on and on. I’m not responsible for anyone else’s feelings or life. If you’re an adult, it’s way past time for you to learn to be responsible for yourself and your behaviour. That’s on you.
DOUBLE ICICLE SKY STAB
People can crybaby all they want when they don’t like what I’ve said in such situations. Guess what? Nothing changes until you decide to reflect on yourself, your behaviour, and step in new directions. So go ahead, take your pot shots at me, slap me around whenever you choose for whatever reason. I truly don’t care. It’s nothing new in my life. Don’t cry though when I draw the line and hold up a mirror. Know that you are the one that loses when you behave badly and I don’t mean just towards me. That’s your snow job you’re burying yourself with.
MISTED GATEWAY I
MISTED GATEWAY II
All photos taken by Nine with a Pentax digital 35mm camera and 90mm Tamron macro lens.
