I came to know something was odd because I began to speak in a language that I barely speak with a stranger.
My Traumatic Brain Injury Story
This morning I was reminded of something that could just be shrugged under my own radar and sort of a ticking bomb that I haven't gotten in checked in a few years now. Life certainly gets in the way that sometimes I forgot one identity that is attached to myself, a traumatic brain injury survivor. I mean, if you have read atomic habits by James Clear, that was similar to what I experienced in building habits and tried getting better everyday. While we don't have bandages around us or losing any of our body parts, the struggle is real. There are long terms effects on it and life is certainly and will never be the same. It's quite unexplainable even by professionals and I was told the same about 7 years ago that they'll never know when I'll be normal because surprise surprise, I'll never be the same and some even argue it's all permanent.
Welcome to my brain dump, itโs morning and when I am able to sit down, sipping a cup of coffee while contemplating about life and emptying it out a little.
I have come a long way to train myself how to speak without stuttering, learning new vocabulary and trying to be less ashamed when I can't quite figure out the word especially in the language that I should be fluent/native in. Everything was like a big confusion, it still is but perhaps like many people with this disability, we just live with it and stopped associating ourselves with what we're having.
For a lot of TBI survivors, our problem might be downplayed as " oh, I don't remember this too" or something like " who even remembers that" but what if, others remember and we don't and they are expecting us to also remember it and be the same person?
One of the thing that I sort of regret was stopping my recovery phase and pushing/trying my best to be normal. I was supposed to rest but I didn't. I was acting tough but now I realized just how damaging it was. Now, though it may be too late and some damages are done, I am trying my best to consistently nourish my brain and trying not to overwork it.
Just that thought came into this morning and how I should take better care of my brain considering lately,I pretty much shrugged all of my health aspects in life.
 | ๐๐ข๐ค ๐ช๐ด ๐ข ๐ด๐ฆ๐ญ๐ง-๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ญ๐ฐ๐บ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ฏ๐ช๐ฏ๐ซ๐ข & ๐ค๐ฐ๐ง๐ง๐ฆ๐ฆ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ช๐ด๐ด๐ฆ๐ถ๐ณ . ๐ ๐ต๐บ๐ฑ๐ช๐ค๐ข๐ญ ๐ช๐ฏ๐ต๐ณ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ๐ต ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ช๐ต๐ฉ ๐ญ๐ช๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ๐ข๐ต๐ถ๐ณ๐ฆ, ๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฌ๐ด, ๐ต๐ฆ๐ค๐ฉ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ญ๐ฐ๐จ๐บ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฑ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ฐ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฉ๐บ. ๐๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ช๐ด ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ข๐ญ ๐ฃ๐ญ๐ฐ๐จ, ๐ข ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ง๐ญ๐ฆ๐ค๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ธ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ญ๐ถ๐ด๐ต ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ณ๐ด๐ต ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ฌ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฆ. ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ง๐ต๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด ๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฌ๐ด, ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ท๐ช๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ด ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ท๐ช๐ฆ๐ธ๐ด, ๐ต๐ฆ๐ค๐ฉ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ท๐ช๐ฆ๐ธ๐ด ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ด, ๐ฑ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฐ๐จ๐ณ๐ข๐ฑ๐ฉ๐บ, ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ข๐ญ ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต. ๐๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ข ๐ฃ๐ญ๐ถ๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฏ, ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ค๐ข๐ฏ ๐ง๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ต๐ณ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ๐ญ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ, ๐ช๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด๐ฆ๐ญ๐ง ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ค๐ข๐ญ ๐ค๐ถ๐ญ๐ต๐ถ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ด ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ณ๐ข๐ฅ๐ช๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ด, ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ข๐ฌ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ค๐ต๐ถ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ด ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ข๐ถ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ถ๐ญ ๐ด๐ช๐จ๐ฉ๐ต๐ด ๐ด๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ค๐ฐ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด ๐ข๐ญ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ข๐บ. ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ'๐ด ๐ข๐ฏ ๐ฐ๐ค๐ค๐ข๐ด๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ข๐ญ ๐ง๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฅ๐ช๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ๐ด ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฆ๐น๐ฑ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ธ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ช๐ค๐ช๐ฐ๐ถ๐ด ๐ค๐ถ๐ญ๐ช๐ฏ๐ข๐ณ๐บ ๐ฆ๐น๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ๐ด. ๐๐ฐ๐ญ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ข๐ญ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ข๐ฅ๐ท๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต๐ถ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ด ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ซ๐ฐ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด๐ข๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ! ๐๐ฐ๐ฏ'๐ต ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ด๐ช๐ต๐ข๐ต๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ถ๐ฑ๐ท๐ฐ๐ต๐ฆ, ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ ๐ข ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต ๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ข ๐ง๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฅ๐ฃ๐ข๐ค๐ฌ. ๐ ๐ณ๐ฆ-๐ฃ๐ญ๐ฐ๐จ ๐ช๐ด ๐ข๐ญ๐ด๐ฐ ๐ข๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ค๐ช๐ข๐ต๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฐ๐ฐ. |