I've been posting more or less once a week in the Rant, Complain, Talk community for a few weeks now and I feel as if I've yet to achieve a rant.
I'm believing I've done some complaining (or what could be construed as such), but mostly, I've talked. I guess I should be grateful that the Talk part was thrown in, or those previous posts I've written probably wouldn't have a home.
I've been trying to match up what I write about with some existing community, and since I do like to discuss certain ideas (even if others aren't really into it here), it's nice to have such a catch all kind of place to hang it in. Hopefully, this is what the people behind this community had in mind.
Moving On
I've been on HIVE (and before that STEEM) for a little over three years now. In that time, I've tried different kinds of things to build an audience. However, I'm not into any one particular topic, so anyone who might have enjoyed, I don't know, something more creative, might not be all that thrilled when I dive into some current event, food recipe I've tried, or even start talking about Marvel stuff.
Also, I'm not sure if I've really found my voice. That's mainly what I want to talk about here.
Be Yourself
I believe I've tried to be genuine. But if, I'm being honest, there's at least three versions of me at any given time, vying for dominance. Maybe that makes me a split personality in need of some major therapy (or institutionalization), but my guess is, I'm not alone in this.
What are these three voices? Well, I think they are the ones that end up depicted in cartoons or some comedy more than anything else. Typically, they're a shoulder angel, a shoulder devil, with the actual person stuck in between.
There are variations of this, of course, but the characteristics are generally:
Shoulder Angel—Positive, smiling, upbeat, hopeful, optimistic—they're like this no matter what. They might acknowledge a downside to a situation, but they're always ready with the silver lining. Things are always better than they seem. They can be annoyingly happy at best, dangerously delusional at worst.
Shoulder devil—Pessimistic, scowling, reactionary, hot tempered, impulsive—they are also like this essentially 100% of the time. Very rarely do they see anything positive, and that's generally because they're right and reveling in it. If they had their way, there would always be some kind of insult or argument ensue, if not a full-blown knock down drag out fight. The more they're told to calm down, the more they get infuriated. Annoyed or frustrated is them at their best. It's all downhill from there.
Persona in the middle—characteristics may vary. They can be easily swayed by one argument or the other, ending up in never really knowing what to do and very indecisive, which might lead to anxiety or worse. Or, they can take in what either is saying, agreeing with points that are provided and finding somewhere in between to act on, even if that means leaning one way or the other. Then, there are the types that basically ride the rollercoaster between the two opposing sides of emotion, behavior and thought.
In my case, I've been all over the board throughout my life. I've been the hothead, the annoyingly optimistic, anxious because I couldn't come up with a good solution, and finally, where I tend to be mostly now, the one considering both sides (or all known sides) and then finding a way forward.
If push came to shove, I'd rather be known as a realist than anything else. Someone who acknowledges and tries to prepare for and overcome the downsides, while never sugarcoating and rarely being euphoric. Getting your hopes up impossibly high is only inviting a slap down. It's inevitable. At the same time, life is rarely as bad as one could make it out to be. A lot of complaining is just downright silly. It might be therapeutic, but really, if it ever accomplishes something, it has its limits in that regard and can just as easily backfire.
I Want To See Passion!
I could be wrong about this, and if so, it will actually be a relief, but based on what I see here, when it comes to passion, an author of a post has to be ranting, cursing, or hyper positive about something in order for others to consider them passionate.
So, either the shoulder devil wins out, or the shoulder angel does. The guy in the middle? Odd man out.
Well, I know that not everyone here considers passion like that, so I'm glad, because I think passion can be expressed in less extreme fashion. Just talking about something on a regular basis implies a passion to some degree. I don't think passion has to be proved, so why go to extremes to do it? Am I trying to make people as passionate about something as I am? Why? I guess that means more people to talk to who really care about the topic, but still, that's more up to them and what they have time and energy for than it is me convincing anyone to like what I do.
So, Where's My Voice?
I guess, I'm going to be the guy who likes to see all sides and base my decisions and opinions on the data I can gather and my own personal experiences, while trying to account for that of others. Which means I'm always going to be the guy that's contrary or opposite of someone because I'm not going to strictly fit on one side or another.
I'm not conservative, liberal, progressive, anarchist or libertarian. Anymore, I find myself touching quite a few blocks of political or philosophical thought. Didn't used to be that way. But with time and experiences, I've discovered that I really don't like being boxed in that much. I don't like labels. I don't like identity culture. It's way too limiting for me.
And I would think it would be for everyone else, too, but whatever. To each their own non-binary self, if that's what they want. Don't tread on me. I won't tread on you.
Sure, I have definite opinions. Some have been the same for decades. Others have changed. Core beliefs are pretty constant. Everything else, could be up for grabs.
I Guess It's Going To Take A While
Some people here have managed to build their audience and it shows in what they're consistently able to get on their posts. I don't begrudge them. I don't have time to really investigate where it's all coming from or from whom, anyway. Others can do that.
I do know where my upvotes have come from. A lot of different people, along with some whales and some curation trails. I haven't solicited any of it anywhere other than throwing my posts out there. If I reciprocate at all, it's because I manually curated the other's posts.
In other words, I'm not trying to fast track anything, nor do I have the time to spend on Discord or elsewhere to network, when I really should be able to do that on HIVE. To some extent, I think, it's happened, but churn, attrition and options other than blogging on HIVE have taken their toll on the numbers of folks I've followed and who have followed me.
I don't know how to control that. I probably shouldn't be able to, anyway. That would be contrary to the purpose of this platform. At least, that's how I understand it.
So, I'm not going to please everyone all the time with what I write or how I say it. If I'm lucky, I'll be able to at least please some people some of the time, even if it's a different group each time.
So be it. I don't know how else to go about this but to continue to do what I'm doing and hope to at least keep myself entertained or informed or whatever it is that I'm actually accomplishing here.
I Will Be All Over The Place
I will swerve into finance and crypto every now and then, but post after post, day after day after day—Bitcoin this and HIVE that—I just can't do it. I want to be informed, though, so thank you for those who do post on that. I just probably won't read every single post by every single author every single day.
I'll talk about food, but I love to eat it way more than I like to cook it or even describe my experience doing so.
I'll talk about Marvel comic books, namely because I'm pretty knowledgeable in them, but my passion for them has waned as I've gotten older. Some would call that maturity. I think there's more to it than that.
I'll talk about Marvel Studios shows and movies coming out like I have with WandaVision, but those come and go and sometimes with a lot of time in between.
I might even get creative again, write some original short stories or excerpts from projects I have going, but time is limited and that kind of writing is the most time consuming of all.
The Point?
I don't know. Not really trying to justify anything. Primarily, these ideas of passion and voice have been on my mind lately and I wanted to give some insight as to where I'm at with them. If people find my topics boring, that's okay. I can guarantee that on a fairly regular basis, the feeling is mutual. I still find things of interest, however, just as I believe there are still enough of you out there that will find something I have to say holding some level of value.
I guess I'm saying, I'm just going to keep doing this my way, like everyone else, and slowly but surely, that voice will solidify and I'll build that audience.
Images source—Pixabay