I did not chose the easiest path in life for me and my girls. In many ways, we have to work that little bit harder to have, what others take for granted. Take hot water, I have no boiler, no tap I can just turn on. Instead I go outside to collect some water, then put it in a pot to heat it up. To wash, we have an outdoor bath, which is heated by a paella cooker. It usually takes at least an hour to heat up.
Everything takes that bit more of an effort. But because of that, I am more aware of the resources that I am using. Which is really important to me. I also collect my own drinking water from local springs, harvest olives in order to have my own oil for the year. As well as almonds, so we can make our own almond milk and almond butter.
Because of that I consider myself Rich. Rich, because my wants and needs are fewer. I like not having to deal with a middle person and instead I know how to source what I need for myself. Putting in all that extra work, means I become more skillful. But it also means I do a lot of physical work, which can be tiring at times.
On top of that, living in a small home, with three girls, can feel somewhat crowded at times. Being a solo parent, certainly leaves me feeling overwhelmed at times. As much as I love being a mother, it can get really challenging and unless I know, how and when to take the time to look after myself, to listen to my body, I can easily get burnt out.
There is a warrior within me, that always tries to push on through, when times get tough, even when I feel like everything is caving in on me. My ninja sword comes out and it can be hard to put that damn thing away.
But I have to, if I am going to stay healthy and strong for my girls and for myself. It has been a learning curve for me. Learning to be okay with taking time for myself, letting go of the guilt I so often felt in the past, if I began to put myself first.
In moments like that, I have to remember to breathe. To slow down and breathe deep, focusing on how my body feels.
My breath, is what helps me to return to a state of calm, when I feel as though everything else is shutting down. It is crazy how so many of us, have forgotten how to breathe probably, never fully utilizing the full capacity of our lungs, never really exploring the power of our breath.
Breathing deep and tuning into how I speak to myself. Checking the thoughts that are occupying my mind. Telling myself, what I need to hear.....
all will be well,
all is well.
I am exactly where I need to be
I am enough."
Other times, when I really feel overwhelmed, I turn to music and allow it to lift me, to transform me. Music, poetry and dance. Allowing me to fly free once again. To step away from my burdens and connect with the creator within.
I close my eyes and let the music take me,
each instrument sings to me, epic tales
of far away places,
building up
to such beauty,
as each instrument merges.
the depth of knowing,
of belonging,
coursing through my body.
I am complete
as such subtle notes, arrive
and transport me,
their gentle keys, caress every sense of who I am,
awakening in me
a longing,
to blend into the magic,
that gifts my ears and moves my being.
Breathe.
I slip away,
my body no longer my own,
drifting
within my emotions,
absorbed by each tear,
the pain I bear, released.
Finally fluid,
I fly free.
Allowing my healing,
to sing in sync, with
each beat that drops,
within this ocean of sounds.
Sounds,
That wash away the raw and tormenting,
remnants of the past.
And then there are times, when it is the mountains that call to me. They call to me, to walk amongst them, when I feel overwhelmed, they remind me of my place. It is there that I can return to the wild, as they envelop me and nurture me.
I am so grateful for the part that they have played in my life and in my healing, how they have helped me expand my mind, when I have felt confined by the restrictions that took place, during these past 3 years.
This is my response to the latest Kiss Blogging Ideas initiative from the wonder Minimalist Community.
