Less is more.
Sure... but what does that mean?
See, the MINIMALIST theme has been kicking around my head for a couple of days in that weird way where you hear something and can't remember where you know it from. You know? Like when you see an actor on a TV show and it just keeps you in a knot for days trying to remember who the hell that is.
Anyway, it just hit me now, and I thought I'd share before the thought decided to fuck off again. Though I'm a quasi-regular contributor to that specific community, I still hesitate to describe myself as a true minimalist. I like too much stuff for it.
But there are other ways in which minimalism plays a role in my life. Dare I say quite an essential role, and I realized just now where I know the "less is more" adage from.
Pretty much everywhere in my life.
Somehow, without any conscious intention to do so, I seem to have crafted a very less is more lifestyle for myself. I'm not a fan of high-maintenance lifestyles, if that makes sense. Just seems to me, the more pretenses and fanciful notions you layer on your life, the more you'll have to work to keep that show up in the long haul, and I'm not into that.
A very basic example (though part of my less is more life) is appearance. While I like looking nice, I'm a very low-effort dresser. Every once in a blue moon, I get to thinking I should have a hairstyle, for instance. My hair just is. Like, the extent of my hair styling routine is let it dry. And brush it, I guess.
Same with clothes and make-up and all that.
And when I was younger, I had this notion of dressing up to go to events or places or whatever. And I'd go the extra mile on my make-up and curl my hair and whatnot. It was such a hassle, and ended up putting tremendous pressure on me. Now, even that's gone. I dress in what I feel most comfortable in at that specific moment, which isn't to say I don't dress nicely. Today was the first warm day in a while, so I celebrated by going out in a print dress and a long cardigan. It looked good, though I tend to think it did because I felt like a million bucks. I don't think I would've looked as good if I'd spent three hours getting ready.
That's an easy example, but I apply that logic to every aspect of my life. To me, less is more means don't pretend to be something else. Don't pretend to be interested in things you don't give a shit about, 'cause it's inevitably gonna come and bite your ass.
Don't hide or compromise on your values. That was a big one for me during lockdown, even when I was aware some interactions would go more smoothly if I lied. Seems to me the point of "less is more" is don't lie, though. Less lying, more time for enjoying yourself sort of thing.
Again, when I was younger, I was more willing to accommodate others, more desperate to fit in, I guess. I often felt I had to tone myself down to make it more palatable for other people, 'cause I'm a little odd when you get right down to it, and sometimes, people don't want a plateful of odd with their mall outing or whatever.
As I get older, though, I'm less and less willing to do that. I've come to realize that a place where you fit in by "toning yourself down" isn't really a good fit at all, so I'm no longer looking for that. I met a friend just now, she asked where I'd been. I could've lied, told her something banal. But I didn't have the energy, or the space in my life for another lie, so I just told her the truth. I told her I'd gone to a bookstore, hoping for a sign from the cosmos. I could see the wtf in her eyes, but then, she does know me well enough not to insist and just roll with it.
I've found, as I grow, that the less I need to tone myself down, the less alteration or maintenance a relationship requires, the more enduring and more enjoyable it's going to be, in the long run. Which also means I've stopped chasing difficult relationships. I went through a couple of those interactions, the sort of relationship that always ends up taxing you emotionally and mentally, and always leaves you feeling drained, or always asks that you go the extra mile. But then something happened, and I cut one person like that out of my life. I didn't know what I was doing, at first, but it ended up that way, and helped me realize how easy it really was.
Now, I tend to evaluate carefully new friends or potential romantic partners. Is this someone who's requiring more from me than is fair? Is this someone asking me to be something I'm not? 'Cause I ain't got time for that anymore.
And that's not to say give less in relationships. Not really. I'm a very giving person. But it's precisely this sort of selectiveness and no-bullshit approach that helps ensure I give to the right relationships.
So even though my shelves may be cluttered, I guess I do ascribe to the "less is more" ethic in some way :)
