Making some decisions isn't as easy as it seems, even when there is a lot of good in it, and sometimes being in people's shoes is the only way to know what exactly they are going through. It's easier for many people to think they can do better until reality strikes and they find themselves doing even worse when it comes to handling some physical and emotional experiences.
One thing I have learned about letting go, especially emotional experiences, is the fact that our nature as humans will sometimes play out no matter how tough we think we are. It happens a lot, and you do be surprised to see a tough guy breaking down when you expected them to become stronger after a particular experience that caused a setback in their lives.
Being brave or tough doesn't mean you shouldn't feel pain and it's better to even express yourself other than bottling up what happens while it tears you apart slowly.
It's okay to feel hurt or heartbroken when the least expected tragedy strikes, but still, it doesn't justify our reason to sit or wallow in that experience for the rest of our lives. I have been through this, and there is actually no gain whatsoever in holding onto those physical or emotional baggages you might be struggling with.
My Story
I have a habit of moving closer to people who people speak ill about for two reasons: to know if I confirm people's stories and to help if I can.
This curiousity of a thing made me got closer a particular man in my environment we refer to as Uncle; in his late forties and works as a teacher at the moment. Before now, he drinks alcohol a lot, despite the fact that his tolerance is very low. Whenever he gets drunk, he starts talking about his children and wife, who divorced him when he was at his peak in life.
Since she left, he lost his big-paying job, and he has been struggling since then. Everything that happened hurts, and he settled for alcohol to forget everything, but he doesn't realize that he is worst with alcohol because that's when he cries and tells people about his experience over and over again.
I told him he had to let go of the experience because it was affecting him and the alcohol must stop because it's destroying him instead of saving him. I engaged with him for a few days, and he opened up to me that he can't sleep with drinking alcohol so I advised him to engage in activities that would wear him out until he fell asleep, but he drank alcohol again. Instead of getting angry when I discovered, I felt sorry for him because only he could explain what he was feeling.
He got into a relationship probably having a companion would help, but it barely lasted 3 months because the lady couldn't cope with him. We spoke at length about forgiveness and letting go, but it was difficult for Uncle to do so. He always lost his job almost immediately after getting it because of alcohol, but he didn't see a reason to quit. I shared my experience to make him see that letting go was very possible if he wanted it.
He started working on himself, and even though he still messes up once in a while, he is gradually living a decent life, and I hope he continues making the progress till he can completely let go and as well forgive himself or wife for whatever ended their marriage.
What am I driving at? Until we let go completely, making progress in different ramification of our lives is always impossible. It's like releasing a ship anchor and expecting the ship to still move at maximum speed; that's impossible. Those emotional and physical baggages will only cause setbacks and hinder growth so it's pointless holding on to them even though letting go might be difficult as well, but it's the best and only option we've got.
When struggling to let go, the first thing you must admit is that there is a problem because until you do that, you can create room for solutions.
Speak to people who can assist you and engage in activities that would keep you busy physically and mentally. Keeping your mind or body idle would only worsen your situation.
Forgive yourself, and whoever is involved in that experience, you are struggling to let go because letting go isn't complete without forgiveness.
Reflect on your progress from time to time and focus more on the result you actually want to achieve.
All these might look easy in words but the road to completely letting go isn't as easy as people think so it might take longer than we expected, and we must remain true to ourselves if we truly want to be free. The weight of those emotional and physical baggages has the ability to anchor our lives to stagnation but that won't happen without our consent. Instead of wallowing in the past that we can't change, it's better focus more on the future we can create for ourselves.
All Image Are Mine