Generated title: Two Brute Uncles Kneeling to the Beat
Vlad Opondo looked at the jagged garlic in his hands and felt tense.
He walked over to the window and reflected on his beautiful surroundings. He had always loved remote Rusinga Island with its ice-dancing, icy island. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel tense.
Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Countess Awinja. Countess was a cunning dainty with brown hair and voluptuous fangs.
Vlad gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a charming, humorous, blood drinker with tall hair and slender fangs. His friends saw him as a manky, mute mystery. Once, he had even helped a dark young lady recover from a flying accident.
But not even a charming person who had once helped a dark young lady recover from a flying accident, was prepared for what Countess had in store today.
The overcast teased like flying bats, making Vlad nonchalant.
As Vlad stepped outside and Countess came closer, he could see the zealous glint in her eye.
"I am here because I want security," Countess bellowed, in a witty tone. She slammed her fist against Vlad's chest, with the force of 1112 rats. "I frigging love you, Vlad Opondo."
Vlad looked back, even more nonchalant and still fingering the jagged garlic. "Countess, I'm five hundred and twenty three years old now," he replied.
They looked at each other with nervous feelings, like two fragile, famous fish hissing at a very complicated camping, which had rock music playing in the background and two brute uncles kneeling to the beat.
Vlad regarded Countess's brown hair and voluptuous fangs. He held out his hand. "Let's not fight," he whispered, gently.
"Hmph," pondered Countess.
"Please?" begged Vlad with puppy dog eyes.
Countess looked impatient, her body blushing like a homely, huge holy water.
Then Countess came inside for a nice drink of blood.
THE END
Auto Praise for Two Brute Uncles Kneeling to the Beat
"I feel like I know Vlad Opondo. In a way, it feels as though I've always known him."
- The Daily Tale
"About as enjoyable as being hailed on whilst taking in washing that has been targeted by seagulls with the squits." - Enid Kibbler
"Saying the overcast teased like flying bats is just the kind of literary device that makes this brilliant." - Hit the Spoof
"I could do better." - Zob Gloop
