Hope is one of the things that sometimes tend to kill me and it's also the primary thing that is keeping me alive. Yeah, a two-way sword that often strikes me so hard that the bleeding is way beyond my capabilities to bear. And also, it's the best healing that I got for the wounds and keep moving.
"So many dreams, so many promises, all that is lost in the tide of time. It's just the memories that are all I have in my hand to say those were real."
If I look behind I see a pile of dreams, dreams that are abandoned, a list of the lost battles that were once way more meaningful now became just trash.
We were hopeful about ourselves, hopeful about the things we gonna do, our plans, our journeys, everything was planned as perfect as it could have been. Every today or tomorrow we were planting new seeds for our future, new hopes and dreams to draw the canvas as beautifully as possible. In the end, it didn't last, everything just vanished into the air, all of them so weak that they couldn't stand still among that storm that tore us apart. Okay, what's gone is gone, no way back with the damage it did and the healing it took.
Again, we never stop walking, do we? The roads are filled with hindrances still we keep moving, we keep ourselves awake to build new hopes, something to heal, something to live. Without the hopes, I don't see any reason for anything, everything we do surely has a reason and a few hopes.
Hopes that I am carrying right now are not the same as before, not like the ones that got scattered. This time it's kind of different, with different types of people, people that are dear to me, not someone that could crack me once again and walk away. Actually, everyone is dear to us for the time being, and then there comes a time when that dear word changes into something negative.
Wtf I have started narrating some shitty story, I should have gone with the positivity that hope holds. A person is standing in the queue for nearly two hours, ask him what's his hope right now. Maybe he will say, "I just wanna get my desired tickets to travel comfortably with my family." Ask the rickshaw puller what his hopes are for today, " I wanna get enough money to bear my daily expenses for my family to keep them happy." See everyone is on the move with their respective hopes, this is what keeps us moving. No time to sit idle and regret the ones that are lost, because that's what tries to kill us and this is also the hope that keeps us alive that better days are ahead.
Am I dying or living? Right now, I am more focused on the things that is keeping me alive, got a huge list of things to fulfill, this time I am not being selfish to fill the list just for my own interest, kept the things that would be beneficial to me indirectly through someone else. And as always, family is the first priority. Without them, nothing seems to last long.