In fighting a battle you need a lot of confidence within you in order to overcome those gigantic obstacles that are meant to stop you from surviving. But in a fierce battle you need more than a mind and that is your resolve to overcome something bigger and tougher than you. It doesn't matter if you're intelligent but you lack the resolve to apply what's in your mind. By lacking this factor can be your greatest weakness in facing various battles. For example in school it doesn't make sense if your ideas are all stock in your minds and not sharing it to others. You don't want to share it because you're resolve to share it to them is not that strong.
That's why sometimes many children becomes an introvert. Becoming an introvert is most likely to be develop at young age. The surroundings of the child has a great impact on his or her personality.
In this article let me just share you what my personality was for the past years before I became a grade 11 student. At young age my surroundings affected me so much and that's the reason I became an introverted person. Let us define the word introvert, this means that a person who don't normally interact to others and just focusing on their self only. This kind of person don't have the bond to the people that surrounds him or her. They are the one who actually really likes to be alone and by being alone they feel more comfortable by it than to interact to the crowd.
Image source: Unsplash by Mike Juarez.
This was my personality back then and it's not really good for me because they always said that I'm kill joy.
Well friends just a little bit of background what's my life when I was a kid. When I did a simple mistake and even those unexpected mistakes, my mother scold me in public. She don't really care what I will feel and how other people see it. She take it as a proccess of disciplining me but in public it's not cool man. Back in elementary she scold me in school and everyone in there heard what she said. It was embarassing for me. That kind of attitude of my mother continued until I was in highschool then I confronted her one time. I asked her that if possible if she want to scold me do it at home because she's just embarassing me and herself.
I don't normally talked back to her because I respect her but I'm glad that the move I made result in a good way. My father also confronted her and we are glad that she changed and upto now our relationship is stronger than before.
Image source: Unsplash by Ilayza
Aside from that I experienced a lot of bullying. Various kind of bullying especially in school. Those kind of experiences I encountered made me to hide in my own shell and cut the connection to the public. If they know you in public, they can throw anything at you just to please theirselves and it's not a good thing for a human to do. There's a lot of individuals like me out there and each one of us didn't deserve to be confined in our own shell.
When we had gatherings back then I don't attend because all of my relatives will just say irrelevant things behind my back as if I'm not there. One of the things they said was I'm a crazy kid with a complications in my brain because they always saw me being silent and just in a one place being alone. From then I avoid to attend family gatherings upto now because they didn't change at all and they became worst.
Since highschool I'm not interacting that much and inside the classroom I avoid eye contact with the teacher just to avoid being called to recite. My classmates were always wondering why I'm like that. But when I entered senior highschool, I thought that the atmosphere back then was the same but I was wrong. Our classroom were composed of different students that came from various places.
First day of classes we had to introduced ourselves and from that point I had a little bit of their personalities. I learned that most of them were introvert back then but they overcame it. Some of them has more terrifying experience than me that led them to turn into like that.
They approached me every single day trying to make me feel that I belong to the family. I called it a family because when we had problems within among us, we held a meeting then open forum to resolve the problem. My teachers also challenged me to overcome my fears in facing the crowd. My strand back then was HUMSS or Humanities and Social Science. They always said that it's just an easy pie to be in that strand but they are wrong.
It's takes a lot of courage and resolve to deliver a bunch of speeches infront of your classmates and board of judges. I saw that my classmates are trying their best to overcame those gigantic obstacles and that influences me to strived just like them.
Until one day I didn't realized that I'm standing in front of thousand students delivering a speech and becoming master of ceremonies in different events inside the school. In just a snap I broke the thick walls of my shell then I started to crawled out again to see how awesome the world is. I graduated in that university achieving that diploma but the most important I achieved being there was claiming back my confidence to stand in my own two feet infront of the crowd once more again.
What you will see next is just one of the things they did to me when I'm still shy. This one happened when we had our christmas party in one resort here. I'm sitting there on one of the chairs beside my cousin and they carry me suddenly then throw me in the pool lol. That was me wearimg green t-shirt defenseless against them haha.
Closing thought
Breaking the walls of my own shell was not easy but I was rewarded with a greater prize. I gained more confident in myself but I still have a part of me that remain introvert and I'll leave it that way because it's for the best.
If I hear them saying toxic opinions about me I just execute the art of dedma. Ignoring them to the max level. Letting them to waste their time and saliva spouting nonsense. They are not the one who can dictate what I will do with my life. Only God can do it and I'll leave it to Him.
That ends my article. Thank you for reading this far friends.