Looking at myself in the mirror has become a routine for me. I don't always groom myself, but I'm comfortable with the way I look and how others perceive me. It's not that I'm extremely self-confident, but I don't feel insecure either. Sometimes when I look at myself in the mirror, it's not just about my physical appearance. I reflect on my actions and whether I'm doing things the right way or not. I've noticed that other people do this too, and I try to empathize with them to understand their perspectives.
I'm 23 years old, and many of my peers are still studying in college. Some of us advanced due to the new curriculum in the Philippines, while others had to complete Grades 11 and 12 before starting college. It's always a pleasant surprise to see familiar faces from high school in the university.
As I wait for my classes or appointments in the university gym, I see freshmen and sophomores engaging in childlike activities. While some people find it annoying, I smile at the sight of them playing and having fun. It reminds me of when I was in their shoes, still trying to figure things out and not feeling the pressure of a busy schedule.
I only have a small circle of friends, and I don't plan on making new ones as I know we will eventually go our separate ways. I've experienced losing a close friend, and it was difficult for me to move on. Being alone is peaceful for me, and I enjoy watching others go about their day while I sit on a bench or eat my lunch.
Reflecting on the past few months, I've realized that I've come a long way. After taking a two-year break, I enrolled in university again. Some of my peers couldn't keep up and dropped out, while others are still struggling. I understand that everyone has different responsibilities and circumstances. I'm grateful that I don't have many responsibilities right now, which allows me to focus on my studies.
Looking at myself in the mirror reminds me that I'm not perfect. I've hurt people with my words and actions, especially when I get anxious. I know I need to be more mindful of how I interact with others. However, I'm confident that I'm making the best decisions for myself within my day-to-day decisions.
I just needed to vent, and writing this down has given me a sense of relief. Thank you for listening.