Gather round ye folk of ol, the men and women who enjoy a good brew and inebriation on a fine Saturday evening. Keep ya hands to yourself ya filthy mongerals but boy oh boy do I have a tale to tell.
I was on me weekly shopping trip to the local COVID Factory, I mean supermarket where something not so shiny caught me eye. A familiar brand that struck me gaze. One that I recognised from a far, the wrong shelf it was on. A minor mistake or a mistake for a minor would it be should a child get its hands on thee?
I peered in and thought this can't be? Surely this fine tuned perfected beer has been misplaced. A prank perhaps? I tipped the can in an effort of further inspection but, what I didn't get was my reflection.
The typical colours of this can are burgundy and gold with an aluminium tip band. The kind that reflects your face, in amongst it all my heart began to race. For what sourcey was this? I clunched my fist!
A sleek black finish and chrome writing, the can looked bold and if truth be told I admired it's looks just like a fine woman dressed in red I wanted to take this beer to bed! Oh boy was I misled for this wasn't a beer at all!
A quick spin of the tin and a quick investigation appeared to provide me with the information I was seeking. How many standard beers was this filth? Not even a fith, sixth or an ounce of beer was in site yet this can was pretty tight.
I wanted to scream, I wanted to shout and no doubt no ones ever had a bout in the ring with this thing. No liquid courage to chase the damsel in distress or perhaps she's distressed because your chasing?
I began pacing the store, the fabric of time and space was tore! A fake beer?
A tear began to flow, and my daughter was in tow. She asked What was wrong daddy I responded with it has begun! The world is ending and now beer is being cancelled.
She turned to me and seeked a response, "What is beer daddy?"
In a quickly paced response I peered into her eyes, "It's how daddy's survive the week, it separates the strong from the weak and helps mums sedate dads!"
Emotions began to rise and we peered into the great abyss an ran!
Our shopping cart left to fend for itself as the world was coming to an end!
I must ask you all this? A world without beer is akin to a life without air! What would you do in such despair? How would fables commence their tales. Would this mean dogs wouldn't chase their tails?
I do not know, I do not think, I do not know where to begin the drink?
Are we doomed to live in a beerless society? What would draw us closer to humanity, if we could not sit and drink a beer?
The world without beer!