As an Edo man, my tradition and culture influenced my personality while growing up. Although I accepted some cultures, others I felt different about them when I became older. It was funny though; it never crossed my mind how the norms that I got used to were like in relation to those of the world outside.
This changed once I began interacting with various online communities. Suddenly, I realized just how much my own upbringing determined how I view things. In addition, as I continued to learn about other places, my cultural identity came into sharper focus.
Growing up with Edo Cultural Norms
One massive norm in our Edo culture was showing respect to the elderly. The meaning of respecting the Edion (elders) was instilled into me at an early age. We would greet them by bending our heads low and speaking politely to them. It was just a way of acknowledging their wisdom and experience. Even today, I still prefer to greet elders in a manner that acknowledges their contributions.
There is also this other major custom that molded my character – wearing traditional clothes. Oh boy, I would put on my most beautiful Agbada made of Brocade fabrics for special events. The bright colors and bold designs made me always feel connected where I came from. Demonstrating Edo style via our native costumes constituted an essential part of my cultural identity.
Hospitality too was one of the main pillars upon which we were built as a community. When visitors came, it became a feast! People opened their homes and shared their best food without question or regret. It always amazed me how we received others so warmly and graciously.
Additionally, another thing about Edo culture that stands out is storytelling in the community. Elders would sit around fire telling incredible tales until midnight. They would spend hours weaving stories about past heroes, folktales, historical moments and even lessons handed down through time from generation to generation.
I had fun hearing our origins firsthand. The detailed accounts of our kingdom made me think about the good old days. It was through storytelling that our customs were preserved and it kindled my interest in understanding where I came from.
Cultural Shock Online
Growing up, I began spending more time on the internet, which was a true eye-opener. All of a sudden, my mind was exposed to a lot of other perspectives outside my locality. Certain things that never crossed my mind before were now being questioned.
One thing that really amazed me is how dating customs differs from different places. In Edo culture family approval is very important prior to seriously engaging someone. On the other hand, young people in many parts appeared way more self-reliant about that sort of issue than others did.
Even lifestyle and self-expression, people loved individualism online which I found strange in the beginning. Things like bright colored hair, unconventional fashion wear, and open discussions on issues such as sex initially took aback me.
I discovered I had led a very shallow lifestyle. I don’t want to be misunderstood; I am still proud of my culture. Nevertheless, broadening my horizons made me consider alternative ways different from the traditions I grew up with.
The more time I spent participating in online communities, the more thoughtful I became about how I had been raised myself. There were a few things that never sat well with me concerning some Edo traditions as they seemed incompatible with my own personal journey.
For example, one standout issue was the expectation that we must obey authority without question. Of course, this does not mean that we should not respect our elders. But also, healthy argument and having different opinions can be important too.
Edo culture has a strong gender roles where men are to provide and not show any weakness. However, finding balance between masculine and feminine energy resonated better with me.
I found it difficult to strike a balance between old and new. It wasn’t just about completely abandoning my origins either. So, in diverse spheres of life my identity had constantly to be negotiated intentionally by myself.
Finding my Place in Between Worlds
Through these oppositions I have explored myself. I realized that honoring tradition doesn't necessarily mean accepting everything blindly, either. At the same time, embracing outside views is not tantamount to turning my back on my culture.
For me it became important to strike a balance. In this light, while some Edo norms were selectively adopted, others were adapted to fit into my journey. I still respected elders but expressed myself freely too.
Communities with different perspectives taught me that our shared humanity transcends our differences. Opening up and realising that progress takes time helped me accommodate change without resistance.
Finally, what was most important was knowing how beautiful it was being feet-in-two-worlds aware of my identity remained grounded from my roots and yet going beyond familiarities in life value.
This journey continues but now I feel at home moving between spheres. Cultural interactions promote personal growth if carried out with an open and right mind. By telling my own story I hope that there are some lessons or insights for anyone who may be grappling with their place between multiple worlds.
This is my submission for today's prompt in the #mayinleo daily writing challenge.
The attached picture is mine.