In my mind no.08 Love [#34]


💜 Love 💜

From the dawn of time, the most common topic of conversations, songs or poetry. So many words about it, and still hardly anyone understands what it is and where it is.
Today I am writing about love.

The article is divided into two parts:
-Old world vision of Love - where most of us are looking for love.
(Reference from the article on depression, in context of herd and love)
-Love, where is it?

-Old world Love, how we understand it

  • Relationship as a solution to the need for love

We have been imprinted from an early age that the formula for happiness is to find a significant other and make children. I, too, believed in this myth of happiness. All the media said so, and the church has been promoting this 'model for happiness' to this day.

Our parents were brought up this way, so it's no wonder how every Christmas the whole family asks when you will find a husband / wife. They are subconsciously convinced that this will bring you happiness. They also say it out of concern and love. ❤️


Sometimes you get a pretty good hit, but most end up in toxic relationships, mismatched marriages, or divorce.

Love as a remedy for loneliness is like leaning a column against another.
Just a tumble and they both fall over. Even when they come back up, they will have new cracks. Without better role models, they will be do same mistakes.


Looking for a relationship so as not to be lonely / sad gives a relationship addictive. We condition our happiness on the other person.

A person who is not self-happy can drag their partner down with him. If he doesn't, other problems will arise.

Such relationships tend to have unhealthy demands.
They paralyze individualism and close themselves to the world.

How to become self-happy?

That's more or less what this blog is about.

Fortunately, there are many components, and I am still learning about it.
Now I will write a little carelessly so as not to leave without answers. More about it in past and future articles.

Happiness comes from building your herd, a group of people with whom you can be yourself. Self-knowledge, taking care of health (mental and physical), letting go of the past, and the ability to be in the here and now are important.

By being happy, you will attract someone else who is also happy. You water each other's happiness while having your own independent lives. You are ready to create deep love. Both straight columns can be topped with a beam of love that will connect your independent worlds.

Then you can go through the world together, supporting each other.
Without hanging your 'happiness' on someone else.

  • A baby as a solution to the need for love.

It is some kind of substitute for self-love.
A child is born into the world, untainted by anything.
A love that is easy to surround yourself with.
A deep immersion in unconditional loving.

The need for love can be satisfied by the parent, and what about the child?

The child grows up in similar conditions to the parents.
Metaphorically, the baby drinks with the milk parents uncertainty, trauma, fear and prejudices. He watches with surgical insight into every movement, every word. He imitates and copies, building his foundations for reality.

He creates his own operational program, learns how to enter this world.
What are we like? Who are the others? How to react? What to do?
By deciding to have a child before self-discovery and learning how to be self-happy, you are passing on a relay of generational burdens.

Not self-happy people give birth to future not self-happy people.

There are no guilty parties here.
Your parents probably raised you better than their parents did. Looking further, a few generations back, most households had a dozen or so children left alone and were most often treated just like a family resource.

There are no ideals.
I don't want to discourage having children if that's what you want.
I would like every generation of kids to be taught better.
So they would had fewer unconscious limitations. They got to know themselves, believed in themselves, loved themselves. A parent who does not know these things will unconsciously give hurtful role models to the child.


So if you have/want to have children,

I am calling You, heroine, hero!
Develop yourself, get to know yourself and listen to specialists how to raise children.

Let the pains and bad patterns of your predecessors end with you.

❤️ I believe in You dear parent ❤️

Love, where is it?

Imagine the strongest love you can experience.
Such a maternal love, or the greatest sensual love, the last one for life.
You intuitively think that falling in love depends on the other person.
I love this person, so that person is causing it.

However, this feeling is in you, that is, you cause it.

A moment ago I wrote that you cannot look for love to be happy.
Now, as if I contradict myself - you will find happiness with love.

You can find the strongest love within yourself.

Love is a mental state that can be entered.
Swim in it while being deep within yourself and resonate to the surrounding world.

  • Such a guru-Buddhist is usually cheerful, calm, light.
  • You see a mother with a child when they play in joy and smiles.
  • When You come home and the dog greets You, look at His pupils.
  • While dancing, singing, practicing the deepest passions.

They are all in love, albeit in different colors.
Eyes are glazed, thoughts and actions are focused only on the here and now.

Learning to be in love is not easy at first.

The first step is to want. I'm just learning it myself.
I know it is doable and worth the time.

I have been scouting the last few days, asking people how love feels.
Again, as many answers as asked.

Some people feel it like a fluffy ball of tingling in their tummy.
Some people see as if the world background is fading away and the colors of the loved one are sharpening.
Best friend love hears as vibration, resonant sound.
Some of them speak of a calm euphoria, a feeling stronger than the others.

When I am in love, I have no thoughts.
I'm fine with whatever I do. Can be accompanied by a wild smile.
Most often I enter this state when I dance, sing, cultivate gratitude, help others, see my loved ones.

Whenever I want, I feel a pleasant tingling / tickling in the frontal lobe.

Sometimes I experience love much more intensely.
Orgasmic waves exploding from the heart, brain, hands, perineum.
Like spasms all over the body, stronger than tingling.
So far, I have experienced them twice so strongly that for a split second I forgot who and where I am. As if I had become everything and nothing.

Often when I go to bed, I think how wonderful life I have, what awaits me.
Barely under the duvet and as if I was getting palpitations from pleasure.
I laugh like a child who got a dream gift.
Such a giggle of the inner child, because He knows that I love Him the most.

How do you feel love? How do you understand it?
Share your love in the comments❤️

Thanks for reading and see you next! 👋

You can find list of my articles below.
I hope some of them can fit Your needs! 🙆‍♀️

The main reason why I started this blog is to tell my story.
I've grown a lot thru my lifetime and learned things I believe should be taught in primary school, as a human right.
Teachings about basic human needs, self-discovery, search for passion, cooperation, need of tribe, love, how to grow, healthy lifestyle for both physical and mental health.

Summary of my previous articles if You missed them:

(I hope some of them will fit Your needs and do some good 🤩)

About psychology

About weight loss / healthy food


Hive in my perspective

Some healthy food propositions

I write every second post in Polish, and every second in English.
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Tell me in the comments!

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