Hello there,
I wonder if this is the same for most men and whether just as I crave physical touch, so do other men. Or it is just in my head. Physical touch as basic as hugs means a lot to me, and I crave it almost all the time, but in reality, I don't hug people as much. I am always too cautious to be sure that I am not overstepping my bounds. Also, I don't want to come off as too emotional, especially as a man 🙈.
I am grateful for my mother in my life. She holds the record for being my most hugged individual. I just randomly give her hugs, sometimes really long ones. Not like I am giving it to her; I am most of the time doing it for myself because I so love hugs. Hugs alone can stand as my number one love language, to be honest.
But, unfortunately, I used to not like giving my brother hugs, I just don't know why. I feel like his body is not built for the kind of hugs I crave. Not until I understood that hugs are a form of show of love. Not only for yourself but for both parties involved. It was selfish of me to not give my brother hugs just because I didn't crave it. Giving him hugs now comes from a deeper and more internal place of love than just how I feel.
Then there comes my girlfriend. Oh yeah, her body is definitely built for the kind of hugs I crave. And also, of course, coming from a place of love and trust. I definitely have to be comfortable around you and trust you for me to give you a big, loving hug (the kind of hug I crave). I love her and trust her; she is 100 percent my kind of person. I am grateful to be hers and for her to be mine.
I should be talking about my thoughts on the 5 love languages, and here I am talking about hugs 😂.
The concept of love languages was developed by Dr. Gary Chapman. We will talk on each of these love languages as we move on.
Don't mind me; this is my order of importance. As I spoke about above, physical touch tops the list for me. Then come words of affirmation. I don't know why, but I always feel the need to be connected, if not in person, then in words. I always want to know or hear you say that we are good. That you appreciate me, or maybe when we are fighting, that you wouldn't do anything regardless to hurt me, because I know in my heart that I wouldn't do anything to hurt you, and it may be the same for you, but personally, I want to hear you say it. It gives me a sense of confirmation and assurance.
This acts of service, eweee, me I like a neat and tidy person. So when we roll together and I feel your impact as a caring person in the form of service, it makes me feel loved, and I would naturally, without question or time-wasting, reciprocate. Or even better, do something I think you love. Not like I am waiting for you to do it first o, I know myself, and I am nice and kind. But I don't like when someone makes me feel used. So, I decide that when you go first and I see it in you, I can go all out to reciprocate the favor.
Gift giving holds a special place in my heart, especially when it is thoughtful, because I rarely go out of my way to get something that I like for myself until it is absolutely necessary, at which point it becomes a need. So things that I like, I still most of the time like them from afar and never really go out of my way to get them. When someone does me the favor of getting them, it blows my mind, and I always super appreciate it. Because when I can't or don't do something for myself that I like and it gets done anyway, there is this sparkle that lights up in my heart for you.
Then the last, but not the least, is quality time. I like to know my partner to the point where we have no distractions, such as phones or television, and I get to know you in depth. Without external influences, but ourselves. Distraction can bring out different sides of us; sometimes it may be good, sometimes it may be bad. But I personally would like to find out what's in you without any external influences. What are the things that have made you into the person that you are? I am super curious.
I am sure you must have the question, "Why is quality time at the bottom of his list?" Well, it is not at the bottom because I don't like it; others just simply came before it. And this might be because I haven't really shared true quality time with anyone. Fun fact: it used to be at number 2 on my list because I wanted to know how it felt, but it seems difficult to get, maybe because the other person doesn't see it the same way I do.
Well, I hope to find out soon. Thank you for reading. I hope you learned a thing or two about love languages and my experiences.
Have a love-filled rest of your day.