There’s another newbie in this community, thanks to @trangbaby, @dora381 and @forykw! I am thankful for your kindness and openness to support and guide me as I get started. I am super excited to join in and start writing!

Introductions are always a little bit awkward aye? Alright let’s start with the basics, my name is Anis and you pronounce it like the spice, Star Anise!

I have to apologise in advance because now every time you think about a star or the spice you’ll think about me, oops, sorry not sorry! 😜

I’ve had (and still occasionally have) people butcher my name and it hurts my soul each time so that’s why I create that mental shortcut for people. People have called me:

• Anisa (pronounced: A-nee-sa) - adding another letter to my name
• Anis (pronounced: Eh-nise)

or worse… I know you already know what it is without me spelling it out for you

From Anis to Alice?

I usually would correct people’s pronunciation but I stop after some point and accept that my name will be butchered if that person really can’t be helped anymore 😅 When I first migrated to New Zealand, where I am living now, I briefly considered changing to a more common English name to avoid all this hassle.

I thought about Alice - it sounds like Anis but with an ‘l’ and ‘c’ instead of ‘n’ and ‘s’ so it won’t take me too long to get used to the new name. I am like Alice in Wonderland anyways, small, dangerously curious, and gets excited about the smallest things, so it is quite a fitting name for me.

But obviously, I never changed it and chose to keep my birth name because I came to realise that I love my name! This is a big realisation because I used to dislike it.

Disliking my Name

Anis is a masculine name in the Arabic language, but in Malaysia, where I am from it can be used for both males and females. I used to get teased for sharing the same name with boys in my school and would feel so conscious about having a ‘boy’ name.

For the longest time, I introduced myself with my middle name which is four syllables long. To make my name easier for people to remember, I would slice it up in different ways into one or two syllables. I created four different nicknames and would introduce myself with different names depending on the context, groups (family, friends) and types of people.

It was honestly confusing for my friends and me but my younger self thought it was brilliant. This went on throughout my school years and I only started going by Anis when I was 18 years old. It was partly, or maybe it was entirely because my childhood best friend whom I also had a crush on at that point said he likes my first name.

I am glad I make that change because now I am grateful for my name.

I am my name

أنيس in Arabic means friendly, companion or close friend. My parents thought carefully about my name and I’m grateful for it because it fits who I am as a person.

I definitely see myself as a friendly person who is capable of making close friendships. I know that it shows in my behaviour too. People around me have said that I am approachable and that I provide good company whether it’s sitting quietly together, having loud banters or engaging in long and deep conversations. Whenever I develop a close friendship with someone I can connect with, it further affirms my belief that I am my name.

This way of looking at myself is especially helpful when I migrated to New Zealand and had to build new friendships and support systems. It was scary but I know I can always make new friends, and develop close connections with people around me.

So to me, a name is never just a name, it is an affirmation, a prayer, and a reminder of who I am.

I put a lot of significance to someone’s name as I put it to my name. How about you? Do you feel attached to your birth name? Does it have a special meaning, story or memory to you?

I would love to learn your name and get to know more about you through it 😄