Day number...umm. Is anyone keeping count? How long has it been? Anyhooos, its been wayyy too long now. Don't let this distract you from what kept the world together - BARBERS.
It cannot be just me who thinks that barbers should also be deemed "essentials". Without them the world is falling apart. This is going from bad to worse. Barbers were the final touch of glue keeping the sanity stuck to this world.
I'm about to do it. I am. Well, I might. It's a gamble. But to be honest, have you seen me? What about yourself? The mirrors don't lie. My head feels heavy all day. And I keep flicking my ears like a cow. Hard to tell a barbarian apart from me, at this point.
There they are. Smirking at me. Their teeth shining and sharp. I think it's almost talking to me. Calling me. Telling me sweet things like: "Don't worry. You've been to the barbers all your life. You're already a pro at giving yourself a haircut."
I'm still trying to keep myself from giving in.
But, how bad could it get, really? Maybe I could be a secret pro. You know, like it could be my secret talent. The Sheersman. No, the Barberman. Nah. I need to work on a name, first.
Wherever I go I see it. Stalking me. Taunting me. Alluringly looking at me. It's like a very, very satire version of scary movie. It couldn't be that bad. Worst case scenario I either have to wear a cap, rock a bald head or become the butt of the joke for a lifetime to my colleagues. Nah, I can't do that. I think I have more strength than a haircut.
Who knew the pinnacle of feeling civilized and comfort was in haircuts. Huh!