Respect is earned they say but the respect people have for us is not more important than the respect we have for ourselves.
There are things people do to hurt their own self respect. This kind of behavior may not always be done consciously and sometimes we cannot even tell if we are at fault or not and they actually come from deeply ingrained habits or beliefs in us.
I can identify a bad behavior I had that kept tarnishing my self respect. I would often go along with situations I didn't really want just to please other people. It seemed harmless but eventually I began feeling more depressed and insignificant. I couldn't stand up for what I want or belief in. Being a people pleaser is not a good thing.
Yes validation from others or getting other opinions is great but to live a lifestyle where it has to be another person's way always is to me not a life worth living.
By constantly prioritizing other people’s needs above our own, we indirectly tell ourselves that our own needs do not matter. It sounds noble to put people above you but out of experience I would advice that you don't do it all the time. You only do it when it's absolutely necessary.
This can erode self-respect bit by bit, until it there's no more self respect.
Talking down on yourself or being pessimistic is not a good thing. You might say bad things about yourself when you make small errors or think you're are not as good as other people around you. Such a habit of being unkind to yourself and in your mind damages the inner strength within you.
It's very controversial because I hear some motivator on social media encourage that you become hard on yourself so you can improve, however they miss telling their audience that too much of it is very bad and can create an opposite effect which is discouragement.
It slowly removes our confidence and sense of self-worth till there is nothing left.
I found it very useful to take notice of occasions when I felt bad about myself and find common trends among them. This made me know where my feelings were coming from and solve whatever problem I had.
Trying to change and give yourself more respect won't come easy however, making small steps over time will bring huge difference in your life.
You can start by setting boundaries. The people close to you won't like it at the beginning but they'll soon get used to it. It is actually very empowering because you are demonstrating that you respect your time and energy too.
I started by saying no to minor requests and eventually moved on to denying bigger ones. Of course I'm not telling you to say no to everything but if it's going to compromise your personal principles it's better to reject it.
Practicing self-compassion also matters. When I made mistakes, I tried to treat myself with the same gentleness accorded a friend. This helped me in stopping my negative inner dialogue.
I think developing self-respect is all about acknowledging our own value and respecting ourselves accordingly as well. Have respect for yourself more than you do to a Boss or anyone you admire.