Maria, I am so troubled. My husband no longer pays attention to me. He is even suggesting a divorce. I'm never going to let another woman take my man without a fight, a distressed Angi cried.
Angi, as I fondly call her is my sister-in-law. She was experiencing problems in her marriage and she came to me for advice.
'Angi, I won't tell you what to do but I will tell you a story.
Your brother isn't the first man I married, infact I met him when I was torn apart by my first husband. He decided to keep it between the both of us but I'm willing to share with you'.
I observed the expression of shock on her face and I actually expected that.
'I was married 7 years to Starry. I loved him so much and he did too not until 2 years into our marriage, he gradually changed, he was different, he became too busy, he got too temperamental. I didn't understand what was happening and trust me I tried to ask, I set up family meetings but nothing. To make the case worst I couldn't bear children',
'But you have 3 lovely children for my brother, Angi chipped in
'Let's say I thought I couldn't bear children', I continued.
I kept telling myself that I would have children at the right time. I beared all the excesses of my husband until 7 years, he served me divorce letters. I was broken, I cried for days, I begged to at least have a conversation, I begged him to call off the divorce process but it met a brick wall. He stopped eating food I cooked. Every morning he would motor out and return as late as. I lost my right as a wife but I was ready to endure because I thought my marriage needed to be saved.'
'I recall that afternoon vividly, I overheard my gate keeper having an argument with someone so I stepped out to see who it was. I met a lady with two children and there was my husband's car, apparently she rode in that.
'Who are you, I asked
'I am your co-wife and I've come to stay in our husband's house, she replied while rolling her eyes and making faces at me. She brushed me aside and ordered my gatekeeper to take in her bag to my husband's room. I was still ready to endure for the sake of my marriage. Starry returned for the first time in years before 7pm and asked that I use the guest room as his new wife would be sharing the room with him. I moved my stuffs without a fight to the guest room. I wept through out that night, I'm sure I didn't sleep well because I woke up with a swollen face.'
My friend Lizzy, kept advicing me to move on from Starry but I felt I could save marriage, so I kept trying.
I was making breakfast when the new woman confronted and asked me out of my kitchen, calling me barren and several other names. I was ashamed so I left to eat out. As if what she did wasn't enough, I returned home and gatekeeper locked me out, telling me that the order came from his madam. I sat right in front of my gate, I was shattered, I was tired of life but I still wanted to save my marriage. I called Starry and mentioned the condition of things at home. My beloved husband reminded me that I had refused to sign the divorce papers and I was holding unto a thin robe, he added that that he couldn't handle the situation from office and that I'd have wait till he returned from work. This was the last straw that broke the camel's back. I picked whatever remained of me and went to Lizzy's. The next morning, I reached out to my lawyer and signed the papers so the proceeding could begin. It was during this time that I met your brother. He brought me peace although I kept rejecting him. He protected me, stood up for me and was always there for me. The things my husband didn't do for me. Throughout the divorce process he was my strength and he supported me all road.'
At the last hearing to finally make the divorce legal, your brother didn't come along but Lizzy did. Starry approached me and slot shamed me, telling me how I couldn't wait for divorce to be finalized before I started going out. As usual I ignored him but Lizzy didn't. She replied him in every tone he sent out and even asked him to check the paternity of his children. I don't know why it never occurred to us to visit the hospital. It was until the separation that I decided to visit the hospital, only to realize I was fertile with my hormones released in appropriate quantities. This only meant one thing - That Starry was the infertile one but his mistress claimed she had two children for him. I don't know what transpired between Starry and this mistress but he called me sounding all drug and pleading to see me. Lo and behold, he had drowned himself in alcohol. I helped him clean up and prepared food for him.'
He didn't even apologize for the things he did to be but felt ok to order me to return as his wife. I realized then that I didn't feel anything for him anymore. I reminded him that legally we are divorced and I would move on. I left that house that night. It was my best decision. I have been happy since then till date.
My dear Angi, I would not ask you to either leave your husband as he suggested not would I ask you to stay but let the happenings on your life tell you the right decision to make.
Giving a loud sigh, she sat there, lost on her thought as I came to an end with my story. I only hope she makes the best choice from my experience.
THE END
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