Writing Tip #36: How to Write Dialogue in Fiction

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Hello friends of The Ink Well, and welcome to the newest addition to our collection of fiction writing tips. This is @jayna. In this installment, I’m going to dive into the mechanics of writing dialogue, as well as the importance of dialogue as a way to bring a story to life. Let’s dive right in!

Why Is Dialogue Important?

Imagine going to the movies. Perhaps there is a narrator behind the scenes, describing the action of the movie, scene by scene. But no one ever talks.

That’s essentially what it’s like to read a story with no dialogue. The writer explains everything to the reader. But the characters seem as animated as rocks and trees if we never get to hear anything they have to say.

Dialogue is one of the three key mechanisms of a story that make it real to the reader, along with action and narrative. Each of these must be present for the story to come to life. (See the article, Action, Dialogue and Narrative: The Dynamic Trio.)

Narrative is the storytelling that sets the scene and tells us what is happening. Action gets the characters moving and doing things, and carries the story forward. And dialogue lets the reader “hear” the characters and imagine them in real life.

How to Write Dialogue

The mechanics of dialogue are fairly simple. You write what the character says with opening and closing quotation marks, like this:

“Cheryl, please make me some coffee.”

If you want to state which character has said this, you can add a “dialogue tag,” like this:

“Cheryl, please make me some coffee,” Mark said.

Notice that instead of a period at the end of Mark’s sentence in quotes, we add a comma. And the period goes at the end of the dialogue tag.

Now, what do we do if the dialogue is actually a question, followed by a dialogue tag? In that case, we write it like this:

“Cheryl, could you please make me some coffee?” Mark asked.

In this case, notice that while there is a question mark in the quoted expression of Mark's, the sentence still doesn't technically end until after the dialog tag, where you must end the entire sentence with a period.

What if the dialogue tag after the question is not someone’s name? Dialogue tags come in many forms, after all, such as:

  • he said
  • she said
  • the girl shouted
  • the man snorted

In those instances, the word after the question mark and the closing quotation marks is lower case, like this:

“Cheryl, could you please make me some coffee?” he asked with a note of impatience.

You can find many more examples of dialogue format in this article.

Do You Always Need a Dialogue Tag?

No, you don’t. In fact, dialogue tags can become very cumbersome if they are over-used. For example, you wouldn’t want to write dialogue like this:

“I am so angry with you,” she said.

“I’m angry with you too,” he said.

“It’s all your fault,” she said.

“That’s not fair. You started it,” he said.

“What? You walked right in here with an attitude,” she said.

“No, I mean yesterday when you stormed out,” he said.

Writing all those “he said” and “she said” dialogue tags actually detracts from the story, doesn't it? I like to think of dialogue tags as a necessary evil, and only use them when it’s needed to help the reader keep it straight who’s talking.

A really useful alternative method is to use a gesture or action to indicate who has center stage. Then we know the next person who says something is that character, and no dialogue tag is needed. For example:

She stood up, bumping the table. "How could you do this to me? I trusted you!"

You can also precede the dialogue with the tag to indicate who says the next thing. For example:

The boy slid to a stop on his bike. He glanced at his friend and said, "I don't want to go that way. It's too dark."

Here’s an example showing all three of the methods we've just discussed to show how dialog can flow in a scene:

Jared ran out into the street, waving his hand wildly. “Taxi! Taxi!”

His wife called from the house, “There’s no time, Jared. The baby’s coming!” She leaned against the doorway, then doubled over in pain.

“Oh honey!” he called back. “Okay, hang on! I'll get help from Serena next door.”

Notice how keeping dialogue tags very simple, and using the right type of dialogue tag for different purposes helps the dialogue itself to come forward, and the mechanical aspects of writing dialogue to almost disappear. That is the goal. When you master this, you can write more immersive fiction.

This leads to the next topic.

Should You Use Creative Dialogue Tags?

Sometimes writers like to use adjectives and adverbs to make dialogue tags more colorful, such as:

  • she said sincerely
  • the child said precociously
  • the boy chortled heartily

Just be aware that these can also be very distracting. We want the reader to be focused on the character’s actions and what the character is saying, not on the colorful dialogue tag. What’s more, an adverb tends to reduce the impact of the writing, which is typically the opposite of the desired effect.

What do I mean by this?

There’s an old but important expression for writers, which is “Show, Don’t Tell.” It means writers should provide rich details, not summarize for the reader what is occurring in the story. In the case of dialogue, if the writer describes the character's expression as being spoken "sincerely" or "precociously" or "heartily," they are telling the reader about it, not showing the reader.

Here’s an example of telling vs. showing with dialogue.

Ronny stepped into the restaurant and addressed the host. “I hope you have my reservation,” he said warily.

So, in this example, the reader has been told that Ronny is wary. But the writer could so easily improve this little scene by showing that Ronny is wary. For example:

Ronny stepped into the restaurant. He blinked and looked about for his date. She had said she would be wearing a pink hat. But there was no one in a pink hat. Perhaps she wouldn’t come. He steeled himself and approached the host. “I have a… reservation. For two.”

For more information on why you may want to avoid adverbs in your writing, you can read an article I once wrote on my Wordpress blog, titled What is the trouble with adverbs in fiction?

The Art of Dialogue

The purpose of dialogue is to make the reader more intimately familiar with the characters. When characters speak, we see and hear them. We get a much better understanding of who they are, and when we are involved in the characters we are compelled to keep reading.

So, when you set out to write dialogue, think about the nature of your characters, their ages, their demographics, and what they are experiencing in the story.

There are plenty of articles out there about what makes dialogue great. I like #4 in 7 Easy Steps for Compelling Dialogue, which is “Reveal character dynamics and emotion.”

To me, that’s what it is all about.

If you keep that in mind, your dialogue will never be boring. As I think the example above of Ronny in the restaurant shows, we want to see what makes a character tick. What are they feeling? What’s causing them pain, fear, greed, or elation?

Let’s say two people greet one another on the street, realizing they have not seen one another in 20 years. You could write their dialogue like this:

“Hey. Pete, it’s you. Been a long time.”

“Nice to see you again, Beverly.”

Now, maybe that would be appropriate if they are two very reserved and possibly boring people. (In which case, it may not be a worthwhile story to tell!)

Or you could reveal something more about what they are experiencing in that moment.

Beverly stopped on the sidewalk as the man closed the gap between them. “Pete?” she said. “Is that really you? What… I mean where have you been all this time?”

Pete stopped two feet away from her. She could see how his eyes had aged, how creases had formed across his forehead.

“It’s me,” he said. Then he smiled. “It has been too long, Beverly. Way too long. Seeing you is like finding an oasis in the desert.”

Okay, that's a little corny. But you get the idea. Combining gestures and movement with expressive dialog can really give the reader a strong feeling for your characters, while also moving the story forward.

More Resources for Writing Dialogue

Here are some additional resources to explore:

You can find many more articles on fiction writing in our catalog of fiction writing tips. Happy writing!

@jayna, writer and moderator at The Ink Well, along with @agmoore, @gracielaacevedo, @yaziris and @itsostylish

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