In life, there are times when people tend to make decisions for us, and one way or another, their decisions are followed, which might not be according to one's plan, but one has to take it for peace to reign.
This was the story of a friend of mine who went through turbulence in choosing her path in life due to the advice her uncle gave her parents and the decision her parents took afterward. We went to the same secondary school, and we happened to be in the same class.
I discussed this with this friend of mine some time ago, and she was sharing with me all the trouble she had to go through when she was about to go into a higher institution due to her uncle's interference.
The main reason why I don't discuss my matters with people is because who knows what the person has in mind for you? Is it true they say, "A problem shared is half-solved? Still, one must be wise about sharing their matters with others.
No matter how long it might be, the pain of not allowing one to choose for oneself is forever. Whenever one remembers how his or her plans were sabotaged, it's always a thing of sorrow. To some, it works out well afterward, while others don't.
We were in a discussion, and she said, "I wish I had chosen differently; maybe I wouldn't be here today," my friend, who goes by the name Bisi, said. At first, I didn't understand what she was talking about, and that's because I wasn't expecting anything unusual. She saw that the look on my face was somehow lost, then smiled and nodded her head.
"Just look at you; you are doing good and working towards achieving your goals in the profession of your choice," she further said. It was then that I began to get a hold of what she was talking about. "I wish I was left to decide for myself without involving a disrupting party who ruined everything for me," she continued.
I sighed and replied to her, "What exactly was the problem? You are doing good for yourself, or do you have any regrets?".
"You had no idea of the emotional trauma I went through when my father chose to listen to my uncle's advice without thinking about my future," Bisi said as she sighed heavily.
"But you got admission early now; you didn't have to be home like me; I used an extra five years at home after secondary school, I hope you know?" I asked Bisi.
"At least you got to decide for yourself, and that's a driving force for you, but as for me, I wasn't given such a chance," Bisi said as she hissed. I stood up to get a glass of water because I had hiccups, and I quickly returned to listen to her as part of what I love doing best: giving a listening ear.
"Okay, I'm listening, babe; I had to go get water," I said to her immediately after I returned. "Be drinking water like a horse; I've lost count of how many times you've drunk water since I arrived," she said with a smile, but I could tell from her countenance that she wasn't happy.
"What did your uncle do?" I asked out of concern and curiosity. "After graduating from secondary school, I wrote the jamb (joint admission matriculation board) examination the following year," Bisi began. "I had discussed with my parents what I would love to study and how to continue working to cater to my needs with the little my parents can help with," Bisi further said.
"That was so thoughtful of you; I'm sure your parents were proud of you," I said with a smile, waiting to hear the rest of the story because I saw her grin as I replied. That can only mean things didn't go as planned.
"I wanted them to be, but my uncle came to visit one day and asked my parents how my admissions processes were going. Then my dad decided to tell him all we'd talked about, and he then came up with his ruining advice," Bisi further explained.
"Ruining?" I asked, looking surprised. "Yes, he advised my parents to let me go to college for education because of finances. He told them he had connections in the college of education, which would make my stay there an easy one, and my parents would not spend much money like in a university or polytechnic," Bisi lamented.
"My parents easily gave in to his advice since he requested help because of his connection, forgetting that I had a different plan of my own. I've always wanted to be an engineer, and that has always been my dream, but it was shattered, and it became a problem," Bisi continued as she continued to narrate her ordeal to me.
"I later ended up going to the College of Education to study computer education against my will. When I graduated, I wanted to further pursue what I initially wanted, but things changed then," Bisi continued. At this point, I was already feeling bad for her; I could imagine the emotional trouble she had to deal with.
"I lost my father immediately after I graduated from the college of education. Two of my siblings were done with secondary school; they wanted to go to higher institutions too. Now who would sponsor them was the question, so I had to put a stop to mine, and that's how I got here today. My uncle should not have been persistent; I would have found a means of survival if I had pushed through with what I wanted. He convinced my parents for me to stop working so that I could concentrate on my studies," she added.
At this point, I was dumbfounded because I wondered why her parents would agree with her uncle on such a thing. The turbulence lasted for a long time in her heart because she was unable to fulfill her dream. I don't know how to encourage her because sometimes you just have to leave people to make their own decisions. "You just have to let go and see the brighter side of life, okay?" I told her, and that was how we ended the conversation.
This was how I realized that many people are going through emotional troubles that they cannot share with anyone. She might move on as time goes on, but it will take time because she still feels pained about the impact of her uncle's decision on her life.
Thanks for your time, and your comments will be appreciated.