It was on a new year's eve, 2019. The night when I got to know how much of a fool I was. The night I lost all hope of ever finding love again. And In two years past, I still didn't find that click well, not until I met him...Christian.
Early this year, I got to work in an advertising company. This was around the time I met Christian, my knight in shining armor.
At first, it was really hard to trusting him because I had been hurt before and trust me when I say I felt pain, real pain. My ex, Joe always said loads of sweet and promising words to me and as a fool, I fell for every single one of them only for him to show up one night and tell me he that he was done! without even a single explanation.
"Estelle" he called out name in the most gentle way while holding my hands just right outside my house.
" Yes babe" I replied with a broad smile on my face, thinking he was going to put a ring on my finger. How stupid was I?.
" I can't do this anymore" he blurted out.
At first I wasn't sure what I heard or whatever he meant by " I can't do this anymore"
" What do you mean?" I asked looking straight into his eyes.
" I can't do this anymore, Estelle, I can't do us anymore" he said, with his face emotionless like he had been practicing this line for sometime.
The pain I felt when I understood what he meant is... unexplainable. And immediately, there was this sharp pain that grew on my chest, I was so confused.
I let go of his hand immediately and the broad smile which displayed on my face vanished away
"What... Why... Did I do something wrong?" I stammered trying to hold back the tears which had already started building up in my eyes, I just wanted an explanation.
I waited patiently for his response and I got none, he just stood there emotionless looking straight into my eyes.
At that state I was vulnerable, I couldn't contain my tears any longer.
" Well!!!?" I ended up yelling
" Give me a goddamn explanation, Joe"
" There isn't any Estelle, I just want out" he replied with his tone higher this time.
" You just want out? What do you mean you want out? Is there someone else?" This time the tears came rushing.
"No Estelle, there is no one, I just want out, I think we are rushing this and... I just can't do this anymore, Estelle" He replied back wanting to put his hand on my shoulders.
"Don't touch me you bastard!" I retorted full of rage and I thought “I am literally being dumped like trash in a trash can” and it hurt, oh it hurt like hell.
Not knowing what to do or say, I turned back making my way inside my house, hoping that he'd grab me and hug me from behind telling me that everything was just an expensive prank, but it didn't happen. I got inside and the only thing I heard was the sound of his car driving off.
All I could do was cry and scream and hug my pillow wondering what went wrong, what I did wrong, but that didn't help me, I felt miserable. I tried looking for my inner peace but how could I, when I had made joe my peace, my world.
That night was the last time I ever set eyes on Joe.
Two years past after the break up with Joe, I met Christian, a guy I can actually call my world. When I met Christian I had walls up, I could never trust again, I mean how could I? but Christian... he managed to bring down every wall I pulled up. I don't know how he did it but he did and it was magical. He was the opposite of everything Joe was; he was kind, he was loving, he had a way of making me feel like I really mattered and he was there for me when I needed him the most. He encouraged me to apply for my job and even when I didn't want to through with it because I was scared I wasn't going to cut it, he believed in me.
For someone who was dumped at the front of her house without any explanation, I vowed never to love again but here I am writing a love story about my husband. Yes! we are married.
Basically, christian is my light in the darkness and with him, I experienced a full season of light.
Merry Christmas in advance babe!!! I love you