“What is going on with you and star, she no longer talks to you” Favor my course mate asked.
“My dear, I do not know what her problem is, and you know this isn't the first time she's behaving this way” I replied with a shrug.
Favor, a friend of mine, was of the many people who had asked me that same question that week. It was the first week of our third year, first semester, and I always replied telling them I didn't know because I honestly did not know what the issue was.
Star was one of the people I became friends with in my first year in the university, we were assigned to the same group for most of our practicals and that was how we became close. I loved the fact that she was a serious minded and God-fearing student who had little time for distractions.
I was excited to find someone who was my age and also matured in reasoning like I was. Time for study was serious, and we didn't joke with it, and time for playing was always fun. Eventually, I made other friends, but Star and I remained close. We loved to sit at the front because we both have bad eyesight and have refused to use medicated glasses.
Her first silent treatment started when the results for our 100 level results came out. I panicked a lot after the exam because I was so stressed and felt that I didn't study enough to pass the exams. I expressed my fear to my friends, who were also as scared as I was. Lo and behold when the results came out mine was excellent.
“You see all your worrying was for nothing, you actually passed” I remember Nmeso saying to me
“Don't mind her, and she said she didn't study well” Daniel said laughing
“It's true guys, I guess it's retentive memory or something because God is good” I replied.
“Her result is OK, anyone could have passed like Loveth if they studied” Star replied.
We went home that day and the next day at school, Star was a bit late. I kept on calling to find out if she would be missing lectures that day, but she didn't answer any of my calls. Our fellow front seaters kept on asking me if she was coming. Suddenly, we spotted her walking in and seating behind.
“Good morning, you're late today, what happened?” I whispered to her.
“Nothing” she replied
I decided to focus on the class and find out what the issue was later on, but after the class it was like she had disappeared. Another round of calls went unanswered, and I didn't want to go to her place without knowing whether she was home or not. In the coming weeks, she avoided me like the plague. I tried to reach out to find out what was wrong, but she always disappeared.
Fast-forward to some weeks into our 200 level first semester, and she starts talking to me as if nothing happened.
“Hi Loveth my baby, how was your holiday” she asked
I stared at her in shock because she didn't talk to me throughout the exams and even during the holidays
“Star, are you okay?” I asked warily.
“I'm fine, you resumed late this semester why?” she inquired smiling
I looked at her and concluded in my mind that she didn't want to share her personal problems with me and that she'd sorted it out. We started talking and became really close again, she would always invite me to her church programs and show me pictures of her pastor and his wife. I would always help her sign attendance or submit assignments if she had activities at church, and all was well until exams drew near.
She shunned me again until our exams were over, after the exams she reached out to me only for her to resume the silent treatment after the results were out. By this time, almost all our department had noticed what was going on between the both of us.
At that point, I couldn't figure out whether she had personal issues, or she was just angry about the exams.
“Loveth, this thing with Star is becoming confusing” Nmeso said to me one day in school.
“I know my dear and the worst part is that she won't even say what the problem is. She just avoids me and then comes back to be friends when she feels like” I replied.
“Don't tell me you haven't tried talking to her” Favor asked
“I have maybe, she's just angry about exams and she hates exams” I replied
“So if she hates exams, are you the lecturer who sets the exams or the inventor of exams? She talks to everyone else except you even when she sits beside you” Favor asked again.
“Exactly, that why I'm confused, how are you the cause of her problem?” Nmeso asked.
I laughed at them and pushed the issue aside.
The whole issue kept on recurring and by our 300 levels she had also extended the same attitude to Nmeso.
“I guess I've become the co-inventor of examinations too” Nmeso said, laughing.
“Do you think it's jealousy? Maybe it has something to do with the results?” Favor said.
“I don't want to believe it is jealousy, everybody is good at something. If I happen to be good academically, I don't see why she should be jealous” I replied.“She's good at business and has a cybercafé already, and I've never been jealous of her, rather I've supported her”
By this time, I was already tired of the turbulence in our friendship, and I had made up my mind to let Star know I was fed up with her attitude if she tried to become friendly with me again. People keep on asking me:
“If star reaches out to you again, will you go back to becoming friends with her?”
And I always reply, “I don't think so”
The Topsy turvy nature of our relationship became exhausting for me, and I stopped putting any effort into making the friendship work. Maybe someday I will be able to figure out what the problem is.