If you come to my house and see me having a meal stay and join me but if you come and see me doing serious cleaning of the house you might want to come back another time because it might be bad timing.
I never knew the true meaning of the text above which I came across some months earlier until the death of my uncle in May last year. Not that I don't clean any other time but if the cleaning is too intense, chances are I'm having a bad day and I was doing it to clear my mind.
Dad had called around six pm and informed me of the passing of my uncle, his elder brother. Throughout that night I found it so hard to close my eyes. His thoughts kept on flooding my mind. My heart was heavy and I felt numbed. I wasn't prepared for it, nor was I expecting it to come.
Though he was sick, I thought that it would be just his usual sickness and that he would be alright after visiting the hospital. I never knew this time, it would be the last.
Actually, we just started getting real close as I wasn't always around our home town where he lived. But the role he played in my wedding ceremony six months back brought us closer, and it kept flashing back to me, with the speed of light.
In our family, the oldest uncle of the bride will be the one to present her to her groom's family during the wedding ceremony, not her father and since my late uncle was the eldest uncle in our family he was the one who heads my wedding.
Before the ceremony, he will call and we will speak for lots of minutes, helping me with the planning and wanting to know how far we have gone. During The wedding, he stood by my dad all through and made sure everything was perfect. If only I knew that will be the last time we will ever get so close to each other.
That night my heart was heavy, and my eyes were red but tears were not forthcoming. Hubby kept on asking if I was okay and I will say I'm fine dear, don't worry about me. But deep inside I can't express the rage I was feeling. Normally, a long walk will help clear my mind or music but as it was late already taking a walk was out of it and I wasn't feeling any music either.
I was heavily pregnant, seven months gone, this might have contributed to how I was feeling maybe. And my dad won't allow me to travel due to my condition and the distance from my state to home. So I was mad I won't be able to say my final goodbye to him.
The following morning was Saturday. I wasn't planning to do all the house thorough cleaning that day but as soon as I woke up and prayed, I headed straight to the kitchen and started declustering the whole place. Dusted the ceiling, swept and mopped the floor, and rearranged every single item in the kitchen.
By the time I was done the whole place was looking sparkling clean. I headed to the parlor, the room, and lastly, the toilet to do the same.
Afterward, I soak myself under the shower tap, just to let water runs through me for over thirty minutes.
After this exercise, I felt so much at ease with myself, and all the rage I felt the previous night was gone. Hubby was surprised as to where I got all the energy from, to do all the housework within a few hours. Well, never underestimate an angry mind.
I felt strong, relieved, and courageous to call my cousins and specify them as I know the pains I was feeling can never be compared to what they felt.
Ever since then, whenever I think of him I don't get mad anymore but hold on to the good memories we shared and the beautiful life he lived.