LOVE & FEAR

“We need to talk”, Nothing good had ever come out of a woman saying those four words to a man. Jimmi spent the rest of the day wondering what his girlfriend wanted to talk about. As far as he knew, he hadn’t made any mistakes or committed any offense recently, but one never knew with that gender.
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He replied the message as sweetly as possible, “Okay babe, I’ll pick you up on my way home and we can grab a bite at that spot you like”.
He tried to focus on work for the next few minutes, eagerly waiting for a reply from her to gauge the level of trouble he was in. A few minutes later he got his response…”Okay”.

The rest of the day passed without him accomplishing any actual work. He mentally ran through their last encounters looking for any sign that might let him know what the problem was, the last time he had seen her was the previous weekend, it had been absolutely blissful, passion-filled and awfully romantic. It had made him eager to get financially stable so that he could propose and have days like that everyday, as far as he knew the day had been equally blissful for her.

Three long hours later he was seated across from her at their favorite restaurant, they exchanged pleasantries and shared a meal in silence, at the end of the meal it was time to deal with the elephant in the room.
“Baby you said you wanted to talk to me about something”. He asked hoping his voice didn’t betray the nervousness he was trying to hide.
“Yeah…I don’t know how to say this….I’m not certain yet…it’s probably nothing but I just wanted to give you a heads up” she responded avoiding his gaze the entire time.
“What’s up?? What’s wrong?” He asked leaning out of his seat now.
“I haven’t seen my period yet, and I’ve been feeling a little funny…I think I’m pregnant” she said, her voice tinier than it usually was.
“You’re what??”
“Pregnant” she whispered
“With like a baby???” He asked his mind spiraling as the gravity of her words hit him like a ton of bricks.
“Yes with a baby, what else would I be pregnant with?” She responded exasperatedly.
He buried his head in his palms and tried to calm himself down, he had just gotten his job and the salary was barely enough to take care of his basic needs. He had to save to do things for her and now there was a baby to worry about?!!
What would he tell his mom? Or his dad!!! How would he face her family?! He had accomplished nothing so far…he didn’t even have a comfortable enough living space!!! Where was the baby supposed to stay?!!

As his brain continued to torment him with questions, Shola sat across from him studying his face. She couldn’t blame him for his reaction, they were both young and actually had no business making a baby yet but she did love him, and if they were indeed pregnant she hoped he would be willing to stand by her. After ruminating for a few minutes he finally reached across the table to hold her hand.
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“Let’s take a test babe, whatever happens, we will figure it out together”.
“You’re not mad? You’re not thinking I’ve ruined your life and your plans?” She asked softly.
“It’s not ideal babe, but it does take two to tango…We got in this together and we’ll figure it out together…I’ll need to get a bigger place and work more hours so that I can take care of you and our little man but I’m sure we can do it”. He responded hoping his words would provide some reassurance.
“Why do you think it’s a boy?” She asked grinning from ear to ear.
“I just know…we’ll have one boy first and one girl” he responded kissing her hands.
She was happy, and grateful to God because she expected a worse reaction. They agreed she would take a test the next day and they would begin to work towards getting everything they needed together if she was indeed pregnant.

The next day Jimmi had a conversation with his boss about him picking up more hours and doing more to earn more money, She understood his dilemma and approved his request stating that she had always been impressed with his work and she was sure he could do more for the company.
This came with a significant pay increase, it was modest but it would make a difference if he was to become a father.
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He was trying to choose his favorite potential names when a text came in. “The results came back negative babe, we’re not having a baby yet but thank you so much for not freaking out and having my back…I love you now and always and I can’t wait to make babies with you when we are both ready.”
He was disappointed and relieved at the same time…at least it gave him more time to prepare and choose between Jeremiah and James to name the baby.

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