Forced Holiday

"You seem so active today, Rita." My co-worker Rania waved at me.

I smiled back and let out a breath slowly. My mind seemed to be like a sharp sunny day after a heavy weather fugue. It was the right decision; I must keep reminding myself. I just have to stay strong.

"Yes, I'm on a holiday." Rania's brows shot up.

I just smiled in response.

Picking up my phone, I scrolled down and down to reach the group chat my friends had setup.

Hi guys, it is Rita, do you want to meet for drinks today?

Guys seems like Rita has lost her phone. Some other person who likes going out has taken over.

Oh my God Rita, where have you been? what are you doing?

Me? I'm on a holiday. Let's meet at 6 at our usual place.

Courage. Such a small word, so easy to use but so difficult to achieve. Today I'd cried twice. The turmoil in the pit of my stomach was getting stronger. My thoughts seemed to have condensed in a hammer that was slowly banging in my brain. I was back to darkness. This was a hell I'd brought upon myself. But within this darkness, there was a little lamp that was lit up by courage. I'd had two bowls of curry rice today unlike my usual apple for lunch. I could feel the taste of spices on my tongue again. I could feel again.

I closed my eyes and went inside, if I'd stayed back and thought about meeting a crowd of people, I'd have runaway but with an empty head, I moved forward.

"Rita, over here!"

"Hi guys!"

"What do you want to drink?"

"Rita doesn't drink because of her medication, do you want lemonade?"

I turned to my friend and grinned "Today, I'll drink because I'm on a holiday."

"What's this you keep saying about being on a holiday? I saw you go to your office today."

I turned to face them all

"As you know, I have been struggling with depression for a few years. I've been taking medications, but they make me sleepy and lethargic. So, after talking to my doctor, I decided to go on a drug holiday for a while."

My friends hugged me one by one and rose their glasses.

"To courage!"