I am the Vice President of Sales at a mid-sized firm. I get all the perks - a fancy car, a bonus more than what an average employee makes, healthcare and Brenda.
Brenda is my Executive Assistant. She is the epitome of precision. In the past 7 years with our company, she has never made a mistake. She always comes in 5 minutes before time and leaves a minute after 6. Every document that comes to me for approval is scrutinized by Brenda's high-powered horn-rimmed spectacles. If it meets her exact requirement, it is passed on to me. But Brenda is known as The Moat. Nothing gets past her, even grammatical errors. But she doesn't just reject documents, she puts to-the-point acerbic notes that have deflated many a person, including our esteemed CEO.
The kicker is that she never takes any leaves. We have yet to have a Brenda-free day.- I told my wife about this and she laughed and said I should take my remaining vacation days and just have a staycation.
The idea tempted me as a buddy of mine had scored tickets to a playoff game. I went to Brenda and stood like a grubby schoolboy pleading in front of his principal.
"You have already taken your annual leave Mr Rese, why the extra leave?"
"You see my friend Mark got some tickets to a game-"
"Why do you need 4 day leave for a 3-hour game?"
"Um, because it's just not about the game. My friend wants to buy this particular baseball team."
"Well, that sounds good, of course, if he ends up buying the team we will get another sales account."
"Exactly."
"Very well."
It wasn't as bad as I thought it would get and with just a little innocuous lie, I was on the home stretch.
After 2 days of Brenda free bliss and amazing laziness, the day of the game dawned beautiful and bright.
I went in early with Mark as we took in the pre- game atmosphere. We shared a chuckle over his "bid" to buy the team. My amazing happiness was destroyed by the advent of a tweed clad lady, out of place among the sloppily dressed audience. There was no mistaking her. Brenda had decided to grace us with her presence.
I panicked and went towards some other fans, grabbed a pot of paint and smeared it across my face.
As I went inside to enjoy the view from the VIP box, I saw Brenda sitting near the court with the manager. She was waving and scribbling post-it notes in a furious fashion. My heart sank and I just watched listlessly as the game progressed.
After the game ended, Brenda walked up to me. My legs had decided to swap their bones for jelly.
"Mr Rese, I did not expect this."
"I know I should have told you."
"You knew?"
"Er what?"
"The manager just offered me a position on the team. They have doubled my pay. I'm sorry for abandoning you."
All the bones in my entire body had now been swapped with cotton and I was flying high.