Memories and moments are what keep us glued to things that we hold dear.
Growing up with wasn't smooth to begin with because there was always butting of heads, especially in the circle of my stepmother, my mother and I. My mum was the first wife and had me and my sister for my dad and according to our custom and tradition the first son of the first wife tends to claim the huge or all the inheritance of the father, so with her not having a child it was like her being on the losing side, growing up with my stepmother and my dad was like a journey because she wasn't easy to please either she was a perfectionist but then I don't know if she was or she was just a strict person or just jealous because she didn't have a child at the time.
I didn't actually grow up with my mum or didn't get to know her until I was seven because I was told she left when I was just 6 months old, the first time I saw her i was just looking at a strange person until my sister who's a little bit older than me told me who she was, from time to time she comes to visit when no one is home and brought gifts like fruit and foods. I didn't understand why she always come when nobody was home but I felt she was avoiding seeing my dad and stepmother but when I got older and could have a conservation with my dad he then told me that he allowed her to come that way to avoid a scene with my stepmother.
It wasn't always bad, there became times when we spend holiday with my mom, sometimes a week and sometimes a month.
When my stepmother gave birth to my stepbrother, it was as if the missing part of her has been found, she became little cool headed and her son was like an egg to her and you dare not hurt him.
MY DAD
My dad was a man of integrity and an honest man, he always says it as it is and I was proud of him and what he always does. Somehow he knows how to make decisions at the right time and always ready to help, he was practically my best friend and I was closer to him than my mom and could literally share everything with him without skipping.
But then there was a problem I had with him
He was always helping outsiders more than we inside; he did more promising for us than doing it urgent because he is capable of doing it than promising it for later. He was the first son among his siblings and the responsibility for him was much but he was capable to the best of his ability, he practically trained half of them to school both his direct siblings and step siblings because they lost their parents at a youthful age and he had to up his game in the hustle world. That made me realize that love his strong also other than just bloodline.
MY MUM
Seeing and visiting my mum was like a time table and needed to be giving permission for that because I was still a kid and I didn't fully understand the situation of why they divorced, but every time I get to spend with her was worth it. She's hard working, prayerful and don't have a giving up spirit, she believes everything will work out well down to the last minute.
When I was in boarding school, she never miss the visiting day and she always comes prepared, everybody always wait for her, not just for her but for the food because she is a good cook too one of the best. Finally when I entered university that's when I got the opportunity to visit her when I like and spend as much time as I need to but still on a limited level but better than when I was kid.
I started staying with my mom not at the best circumstances because I lost my dad to stroke in 2016 which was a sad time for us and our family. So according to tradition my stepmother has to leave the house to another place because the first son has to inherit the family house and there's no way my mum will live in a rent when she can stay with me.
MY STEP MUM
With her it wasn’t always cat and mouse we had some good times also like on my birthdays, celebration period and am grateful for her too because she also shaped me to be the best of myself aside from her being strict and wanting the best for her son and herself too. Basically I feel she was cared of not getting the love too my dad showed us.
Damn! She can be mean at her worse times, but also very good at her best.
MY SISTER
Well for my sister she's the reserved type, she practically keeps things to herself and believes she can solve everything until she can't then she tucks her tail and ask for help. She loves reading novel and she can't do that without eating for hours, I sometimes get angry at her and make sure she eats by dishing the food for her.
She's not entirely boring though and one of the major problems I have with her is she expresses herself through anger
She can be a very good gist partner when she wants to be and always there to help when she can.
Along the line for some reason my mum and step mum started getting along as we grew older and started having our decisions to make and know better of ways to handle situations.
BEST TIMES
The best times are when there’s a festive period Xmas, New Year and birthdays etc. And what’s most surprising is that everybody gets along and it’s always magical because we all get along laugh and play and not knowing how it started but we just find ourselves laughing and joking about things.
THE SAD TIME
My dad fell ill September 2015, suddenly had a stroke when eating breakfast. It was a very sad time not just for me personally but for the entire family and loved ones because this was a man everyone look up to and a mentor not just to me but some others.
In the hospital whenever he had a visitor he always burst into tears and we always have to console him to make know we are here for him and everything will be okay. We were all with him day and night to keep him company and to make sure he gets better, his sickness drew us together as one to make sure he gets better and also looking for ways both traditional and modern way.
But unfortunately he passed away March 3rd 2016. But then the closeness, love and times we had and shared as a family was the best so far but wish it was on better circumstances.
Till today we still talk and get together once in a while on different occasions my mum, step mum, sister, brother and i.
The best thing is my mum never gave up after 24 years of divorce she fought for us through thick and thin to be part of our lives and for that am truly happy and proud to call her mother.
Let’s learn to live and love because love conquers all and family is everything.