The moment that changed everything was the day Sarafina walked into my life.
I am the only son of my parent which made it hard for me to socialize, once my parents leave for work, I was left all myself to remain in my shell, whenever I hope to try something it almost felt impossible as I have concluded I've failed even before trying, so I gave up on things easily.
I was fifteen years old when I realized I had the imposter syndrome, at first I thought I was an introvert who doesn't like being noticed, I would do things on my own and I was scared of being the talk of the class.
One day at school, Miss Dube asked the class during our chemistry period "who would lead the group for the chemistry presentation? " and everyone pointed at me.
"Shettie, lead us please." They chroused, immediately I heard my name, I tried so hard to bend under the table, "why are you trying to hide Shettie? Everyone chose you!" Miss Dube replied giving me a stern look.
"Ma.. I.. I.. Can't do it! " I snapped back in fear, my voice was already shaky and I was almost teary up, I never believed I had what it takes to lead the class for the chemistry presentation.
"But why can't you?" Miss Dube walked closer to me with a very disappointed look, "I just can't, I don't want people blaming me for not leading them right at the end of the day! " I defended myself and managed to bring up my head after bowing for about a minute.
The class was quiet and I felt like the ground should just swallow me up. "Shettie declined, who would lead the class please! I have another class to teach." Miss Dube threw the question to the class since I declined the responsibility.
"I'll do it ma," Sarafina one of my classmates replied and then I took a deep breath, a breath of relief!
"Hmmm , I love her guts, " I whispered beneath my breath as I resumed writing my note.
I always wished I had the guts like Sarafina, she was very bold and cool, but I felt like I was not good enough.
"Hey shettie, why did you decline that? " Sarafina asked politely during our Lunch break when the class was empty.
"I don't think I am good enough Sarafina,.. " Before I could complete my statement she had already interrupted me.
"No, don't ever say that again, you are more than you think and the whole class saw your potential before choosing you, do you think I am better than you are? " Sarafina asked and I stared at her for a second.
"Look here Shettie, the only difference between me and you is that, I am ready to face my fears and I believe in myself, You have all it takes to shine Shettie, it's all in your mindset, think about it! " She stood up and walked out.
I watch her leave the class for cafeteria and then I had enough time to reflect on her words, "you have all it takes to shine, it's all in your mindset! " The words resounded in my mind and I promised to come out of my shell.
The next day, I came very early to school and headed to Miss Dube's office, "Hello ma, I changed my mind, I will lead the class for the chemistry presentation," , Miss Dube was gobsmacked , "Really? It's too late my dear, Sarafina already accepted the deal, maybe next time, " She adjusted her eyeglasses and resumed what she was doing before I interrupted her that morning.
I was quite disappointed in myself, that this one time I was willing to try, I hadn't the opportunity again, so I walked quietly into the class, by then Sarafina had already arrived.
"Hey Shettie, did you think about what we discussed yesterday? " She stood hands at Akimbo, all in her element.
"Yes, Sarafina I did, I am willing to try if you can step down for me, " I replied with a bit of nervousness, "oh!! That's the spirit Shettie, I will gladly step down for you, and I will be your greatest cheerleader, you can do it! " Her smile were so charming.
"How can an angel be disguised as a high school student? " I soliloquized, and that day was a start of something new.
I knew with a friend like Sarafina, I would do great things. We began to prepare together and rehearse and I was surprised at how great ideas were flowing in all from my head.
The day arrived for the presentation, the whole class were surprised to see me lead the presentation and whenever I felt nervous, I stole a glance at Sarafina who consistently smiled and winked at me., she was my superpower.
After the presentation, the whole class gave me a round of applause including Miss Dube who stared at amazement.
"So you have all of this in you and you almost died with it?" Miss Dube was a very blunt teacher, " Not anymore, moving forward, I will do things that scares me because I have all it takes to shine! " I replied with a smile and I vowed to make my presence seen, and felt wherever I set my foot.
For every time I conquer my fears I thank God for the day Sarafina walked up to me.