I try to make time each day, to unwind. Knowing full well that if I do not find the time, I will become irritable and overwhelmed. There was a time when I struggled with the idea of taking time out, as though even thinking about it, made me a bad parent. Because our children need us 24/7, don't they?
I know now, that I over compensated for many years, because I did not want my girls to feel neglected, like I did when I was growing up. So I told myself that I would always been there for them, but at what expense. Overstretching oneself, is not really something you want your children to see you doing and then begin to copy for themselves.
So with all my good intentions, I finally realized that my devotion to them and my desire to not let them down, meant that I was letting myself down and teaching them bad habits, when it comes to self care or the lack there of it.
Guilt is a hard thing to overcome, but one must. It's crazy, how we once considered taking time out, as being selfish. Instead trying so hard to always be there for others, making us the model citizen. But how we can be there for others, if we first are not there for ourselves.
It took me quite a few years, to let go of that guilt, so that I could actually enjoy some time to myself.
There are a few things that I like to do, things that really help me to unwind. But one of my favorite things to do, is to go for a long walk in the mountains by myself. There is something so magically about climbing upwards, leaving everything behind, until you reach the top of a plateau.
The higher I walk, the more I leave behind. So that, I always come back down feeling so much lighter. I have a favorite walk, that I love to do, that takes me above the valley and away from everyone, until I am high up, with only the birds and occasionally my dog for company.
I walk to this amazing view point that rewards me with a 360 degree view of the surrounding mountains. When I get there, I love to close my eyes and ground myself. To connect with the earth beneath my feet and sing. Singing, is another wonderful way in which I get to unwind and let go. I sing songs, that open me up to my surroundings, that help to heal me, as I send all that has held me back, out into the universe along with releasing all of my intentions.
From up here, I can scream and howl if I need to, and believe you me, I have done both plenty of times. For me unwinding is all about letting go, letting go of any tension or hang ups that I have carried with me throughout the day. Being able to release everything that is within me, so that I get to go back down, ready to fill myself back up again. And what better way to do that, than by using my body and my voice.
I always feel so free up here, where the wind blows away all that no longer serves me and then re energizes me. Where the silence is broken only by the sounds of nature, the wind, the birds and my voice, however I choose to use it. I don't get to go here everyday, perhaps as my youngest grows up I will find it easier to do so. But when I do, I feel so alive and whole!
