[WE-228] To Dream About My Dear Sister and Father

The last dream I had was when I was being followed by that scary being that has wings. I was running for my life back then. And that's the last time I had a vivid dream. Is it really possible for one person not to dream? Isn't that like weird? I have no problem when I'm sleeping. I rarely experience that "having a hard time sleeping," for which I'm really thankful. No disturbance and all, and even if someone's singing their heart out in a karaoke, I can still sleep well as long as I'm in my room, my bed.

My little brother always remembers what he dreams. There are times that he dreams about our late father and late sister, but at different times and days. And often times, I will just say, "Why I can't have a dream with them? They should come in my dream too and have fun time with me." I missed them, especially my big sister, and of course my father too. But to no avail, I never ever dream about them, even if I want to. So if I want to have a dream with anyone, I want it to be with my father and sister.

I am not that close to my father, but we can still have a bonding time. As for my sister, I always like her, so I really want to have a coffee time with her while talking about stuff. And oh, I always wanted to ask this question to her too: "Why did you decide too late to be admitted in the hospital that day?" I like her, but when it happened, I really hated her. I hate that she didn't decide immediately and think about money or whatever rather than thinking about her health first. I'll really have a heart-to-heart talk with her, maybe scold her a little too.

Its just that I still think about her, I always have this imagination where she is still alive. I also imagine that the day she refused to go to the hospital and that I was also with her at that time, I will drag her to the hospital, no matter how much she says no. I'll do it so she could be with us still a bit longer. It's just hard to accept that she died at a very young age. So I kind of like to always imagine about her. I think it is also because we never really bond together that much.

She started working at a very young age. At the age of 18, she decided to work in the big city, far from us. So we never really had the chance to bond, to have fun, or, you know, to do what sisters usually do. So I also want to do it in "that dream" if I'm given the chance. We'll talk nonstop about life, experiences, greatest heartbreak, etc. Although I have a little idea about her greatest heartbreak before. She shared that particular love story of hers. She even mentioned that she gave her "all" to this particular man as a proof of her love for him.

And after that, she gave me a reminder to never give "it" just to anyone but to the one I will love. For her, it is an unpleasant experience, so she also told me how painful it is, lol. But you know, I actually like that she gets to open with me like that. I want more of this moment with her. Then we will sit and eat with Father, we'll talk a lot more, laugh a lot more, and, well, I'll just enjoy that very moment. And if having a group photo with them is possible, I'll do that too.

ಠ﹏ಠ.

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