It's not easy to describe grief because it affects people in different ways. From my personal experience, I can tell you how you feel or what time it will take for you to adapt to death and feel more like yourself again.
People commonly describe it as normal but our own experience might be altogether different. So it wasn't easy for me to describe exactly how I was feeling. Intense feelings can be frightening, but they usually ease over time.
No one knows about the future, but every day of our lives is not the same. When we remember such incidents they either make us happy or very sad.
I hope not everyone in this world even thinks that they would experience an unusual day that would remain in their memory forever or would turn out to be the worst day.
That day, I didn’t go to my coaching class because I wanted to make some preparations for my friend's birthday that evening. I was almost ready to go to my friend’s house when I got this call from one of my friends telling me that our friend had committed suicide about 30 minutes ago. I didn't believe that, or really knew what to do or say.
I recalled the moments we had together in college that afternoon and everything was normal. I didn't know it would be my last meeting with him. I went to his house but it was not for his birthday celebration but to see his dead body.
It was later revealed that he was depressed, and I knew the reason for his depression, but I never even thought he would give his life for a girl. Not only that day, but I could not sleep peacefully for months to come.
I found it hard to believe that I accompanied his dead body to the cremation center and then we took his ashes to the River Ganges.
Incidentally, I took these photos when they had gone to throw the ashes of the deceased into the center of the river. I felt very sad remembering the moments spent with him, and will never be able to recover from this.
Because of the incident that happened on that day in my life, I felt like all of that happened so suddenly that it shook me inside out. During that time, I had turned a little philosophical and brooded over life and its meaning.
Since that day, the fear of losing someone has been continuously lingering in the back of my mind. I also realized that one feels powerless when bereaved. But is it easy to forget your closest friend?
image mine