If there’s one personality trait I truly regret letting go of, it’s the way I used to be a no-nonsense person. In the past, whenever someone tried to cross their boundaries with me or get on my nerves, I would immediately let them know where they stood. I never hesitated to call people out when they overstepped or disrespected me. It wasn’t even about being rude or aggressive, but I believed in setting clear boundaries with people. I always put them straight, made it clear they couldn’t try such things with me, and ensured they understood not to repeat those actions. This approach actually earned me respect. I remember one of my friends in the room that accused me of damaging another person's speaker in the room,I actually didnt want to lash out at first, but then he got me frustrated that I had to put him in his place. What I did was to insult him very badly and sent him home, that actually made us not talk for some days but I still didn't beg him or apologise because I just didnt see the need to. Although , we later reconciled but then he learnt to never disrespect me or acusse me falsely because he knows what I can do and he was aware of the fact that I wouldn't tolerate such things.
However, in recent times I’ve noticed that I’ve started letting things slide. I find myself more laid-back, and allow things that would’ve bothered me before in the past to pass without addressing them. To be honest, I miss the old me, the one that wouldn’t stand for any nonsense. Back then, I was firm and direct, and it worked to my benefit. But now, it feels like I’m trying to change my character, perhaps in an attempt to grow and mature but at the cost of losing that part of me that held others accountable.
While I believe it’s good to stay calm and try to understand people, I’ve realized that some people take my calmness as a sign of weakness. They assume that because I’m not reacting as strongly as I used to, they can push boundaries or disrespect me without any consequences. This has been frustrating because I’ve always prided myself on commanding respect. It feels like people are testing my patience more often these days, because they feell I won’t respond the way I used to.
Still, I’ve come to understand that balance is essential and compulsory. I want to maintain my composure and remain calm in situations where I might have previously reacted in a harsh manner. There’s value in being level-headed and trying to be cool with people.
Moving forward, I will continue to aim for a more balanced approach. If someone tries to cross the line with me, I’ll correct them, but I’ll do so calmly and respectfully. I won’t let my anger control my actions, but I also won’t allow people to mistake my kindness for weakness. Everyone has their own struggles, and I’ll try to be respectful and thoughtful about their feelings, but I also have to stand up for myself when necessary. It’s important to care about others, but not at the expense of my own self-respect.
At the end of the day, it’s about me finding that sweet spot between being firm and being calm. I want to be someone who can remain composed and understanding but still assertive when needed. I believe I can still be the person who doesn’t tolerate nonsense while also being more mindful and respectful of others’ feelings. That’s the balance I’ll strive for from now on, which is to maintain my peace without letting anyone take advantage of it.
Thanks to @galenkp for this wonderful #weekend-engagement topics.