You just do this...It's easy

I've just spent an unpleasant Sunday afternoon setting up my new phone. This, on the back of an unpleasant couple of weeks dealing with my old phone and it's dysfunctional battery. I'll be honest and say I'm all phoned out and almost, maybe, definitely, probably reached the end of my patience.

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A couple years ago I had my work phone (iphone) and personal phone (Samsung S9) stolen almost from right under my nose - I'm still ashamed of allowing that to happen. They were replaced though, and I moved on.

It was stressful considering that pretty much everything is in my phone (personal and work) and losing them wasn't at all pleasant; I wasn't keen to repeat the episode anytime soon. I ended up with the Samsung S20 as my personal phone and the latest iPhone for work. The S20 was a great phone although the battery was a bit on the fucken shit side - That's the professional terminology used in the industry.

This battery nutbaggery became markedly worse in the last few weeks and I decided to get a genuine battery replacement at the cost of $189AUD. Problem solved. Only...not really.

The phone would deplete to about 30% charge in only six to seven hours with very light use (and settings designed to preserve battery life) then from 30% to dead flat took about ten minutes from there. Apparently the motherboard is leaking power? I have no clue. What I do know however, is that I need a phone to run all day and so I had no choice but to address it. I hate the reliance I have upon a phone these days but in this modern world it's pretty much an essential item; for me at least.

I went to buy a new one today. I went to the Telstra Shop (that's Australia's number one carrier) and had planned to put it on a payment plan over the next 24 months along with my service plan and after going through the motions with the chap it came time to select the phone.

Now, I hate the iPhone with so much passion and was only ever going to select an Android phone deciding, based on interwebs research over the last couple days that the S22 and the S22 Ultra were my options. I ended up selecting the S22 Ultra for various reasons and then...

...there's a four week wait

The guy tells me that both the S22 and S22 Ultra will not be in-stock for four or five weeks; he managed to say it with a straight face although I think he knew I was about ready to pummel him into oblivion.

I wonder why he didn't tell me that from the outset when I initially told him I'm considering those two phones but I managed not to kill him not to get visibly annoyed and asked if another outlet may have it. Nope, none of the Telstra Shops have them. To his credit, he made a few suggestions of where I might go and I thanked him before leaving then headed to the electronics store he suggested. He will live to sell another day it seems.

The problem with going elsewhere, however, was that I'd have to buy the phone outright rather than put it on my phone bill and make monthly payments. I don't much like credit so I wasn't too upset although had I bought it from the Telstra Shop it would have been a little more comfortable I guess. As it was, I selected the phone and forked out $1849AUD for it along with another $125AUD for a screen protector and case.

The funny thing is when the girl, who looked like a cross between a cute Smurf and a pixie, was finishing up the sale she said, "oh, would you like a charger as well?"

I'm like, "what the fuck, Smurf-pixie?!"

I was about to fork out $1849 for the very latest (and apparently best) phone on the market and it doesn't come with a charger?

"It has a cable in the box," she said. "Have you got the charger from your old S20?" She said the last with this cute little Smurf-pixie smile which levelled out my incredulity.

I do, and said so, and that was that. New latest tech, old fucken charger.

Seriously, I wondered for a moment if I was being punked; like, for one of those TV shows that record people's reactions to absurd situations. Apparently not though. Samsung, in their great wisdom, feel it's totally legit to sell a phone with a charging cable and no charger. Go figure.

I asked about swapping over my data, apps and settings and she said, "you just do this, it's easy."

She was referring to Samsung Smart Switch that easily sends the data and settings, apps, contacts, messages and photos to a new phone. She showed me and I thought it looked easy enough. Oh how naïve can a G-dog be?

I paid over the money and headed home to do the easy Smart Switch.

I'll admit that the process was easy. Make sure both phones are connected to the same Wi-Fi network and press some buttons: Send data and receive data. It took about nine minutes and then another thirty to forty minutes to organise my stuff, whatever that means. Great.

From there I put the screen protector on which always drives me bonkers. It's those little bubbles you see, they don't sit well with my slightly OCD nature. In short, me no likey. I just took another look at the screen and there's a few bubbles in it so...I'll probably rip that damned thing off and buy a new one. I know it's wasteful but those bubbles...No bueno for the G-dogo.

But here's the thing, as I was checking my apps I realised that very little had actually been transferred over and I ended up having to go through each individually. This, on top of three or four screen protector bubbles, tipped me over the edge of being miffed, to wanting to declare world war three on my new phone.

I don't know how many times I entered my username or email address and corresponding password but I'm going to say about twenty nine gazillion times, give or take a few. My passwords aren't easy ones either. Point in case, here's the password to my Bittrex account: 80085RaWzum

So, there I am for hours on end getting things set up mumbling and grumbling to myself mimicking that sales girls' words in condescending tones: You just do this...It's easy.

Speaking of Bittrex...I got caught in a space-time continuum with that app. I couldn't log in without the authenticator app and could re-set up the authenticator app on my new phone without logging in. Thanks Bittrex you asshole. I had similar experiences with other apps as well. So much for Smart Switch.

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I'm phoned out at the moment but when I have some time will play around with the phone, get it set the way I like it, turn off all the rubbish that Samsung continually add to their phones like Bixby, otherwise known as Shitsby. I'm looking forward to playing around with the camera though as it's supposed to be the best on the market today. I'm not sure if it really is but I've heard it's very legit and I know it'll be good enough for me.

Have y'all had similar experiences when switching phones? Tell me about them below if you like, I'm keen to hear your stories of woe, they may cheer me up.