A guilty breakfast in the sunroom

I promised myself I'd sleep all weekend to catch up on lost sleep; I've been busy doing things that have caused me to have a sporadic sleep-cycle and one can only survive for so long without good sleep as it effects performance; I determined this weekend I'd not work and spend it catching up. It sounded like a good plan.

I awoke (way too bloody early) and enjoyed a relaxing breakfast as the sun came up on what was going to be a partially cloudy day and started thinking about doing nothing, relaxing, snoozing in my hammock, reading, listening to music and...I started feeling guilty. Typical!

As I ate and sipped coffee my mind wandered to documentation I have to complete that will spread throughout the entire organisation and be relied upon for accuracy of information and will form operational process and procedure. Part of me thought, fuck it, that can wait, but another part of me thought, do the work you lazy fucker, people are relying on it and you. So that's what I did.

The document is lengthy, convoluted and technical from an operational perspective and eventually kinetic operations will be performed whilst following it as standard operational procedure - All that means I have to get it right which I know how to do, but...it's fucken Saturday and I've been on it for weeks now! Oh well, no rest for the wicked responsible huh? I finished breakfast and got to it after setting myself up outside in my alfresco area; if I have to work today at least I can do so in a nice environment and with my plants, fresh air and birds singing all around me. (Coffee too.)

We all have responsibilities, not least of them is to ourselves; what I mean there is that whether our responsibilities are professional, personal, social, familial or anything else how we approach them impacts upon us personally.

Yes, there's implications from a broader perspective if we don't meet our responsibilities but also to ourselves; thoughts, feelings and attitudes. Just in the same way we feel good about ourselves for a job well done we often feel bad when we shirk our responsibilities and those feelings can be incredibly damaging to our self-esteem and feeling of self-worth.

That's why I've decided to work all weekend, to push forward with that documentation and get it completed despite not actually being on the clock for work. I don't want to let the organisation down, those I call my colleagues and I don't want to look back later and call into question my sense of responsibility, ownership, discipline and personal and professional integrity. That's a slippery slope.

Do you feel the same in respect of the responsibilities you have in your own lives, professional or personal? Have you taken action and responsibility when the easy option was to leave it for later? What was the situation and outcome and how did it make you feel? Maybe you chose noy to take the responsibility...how did that work out? Feel free to comment below.

Now...I'm back to it for a few more hours before my next coffee break.