Tony happened to be a good friend of mine, a bright young man, handsome, hardworking and had everything going on well for him. Three years into working for one of the highest Government parastatals in Nigeria, he found a beautiful damsel 'Tina' who happens to be doing her one-year compulsory service year. This soon to be two lovers bird was introduced by a mutual friend.
At first, everything was going on perfectly well for them in their relationship. Everyone was envious of their match made in heaven.
Tony begins to notice some toxic behavior from his sweetheart, sometimes they got into a fight over a trivial issue, at first my friend Tony thought oh! She will change, "I can change her" we love each other so well.
Tina has no single regard for her sweetheart, it does not take a second to rain abusive words on Tony over a small issue and then apologize later.
Tony saw all the red flags, but thought she will change after marriage 🙄 like who does that? People don't change but can only grow.
Flag By Cristi Goia Unsplash
Tony hides most of Tina's shorts coming and bad behavior from family and friends not until a year later after their wedding and they were blessed with a cute son.
He could no longer take all the embarrassment Tina put him through, everyone in the neighborhood knew that his wife is a disrespectful woman. But he still chose to stay in the marriage to the detriment of his happiness and well-being.
He has become the shadow of himself and lost his confidence and anyone who knew him before will not take a few seconds to see how tattered he has become.
There are many Tony out there, both men and women who chose to be in an abusive relationship, and some of these relationships lead to abusive and unhappy marriages and some cases ends up in death.
The other day it was one popular Nigerian Gospel artist killed by her husband after enduring an abusive marriage for many years. this particular one is just one in so many cases.
What I do not understand is that most of these people in this kind of relationship or marriage saw the red flags right from the beginning but will still stick with the abuser hoping they will change. Absolute Nonsense!
So when I sew this weekend's engagement topic with the option that says we should complete the statement.
I don't understand people who....
I kept thinking about my friend 'Tony' and so many others out there like him suffering in silence, seeing red flags at the initial stage of their relationship but still sticking around hoping their partners will change.
It as well reminds me of a song I share here some time ago. Devil doesn't bargain by Alec Benjamin
As much as I hate to meddle with people's relationships, I hate to see someone keep on suffering in the hope that their partners can change. "They said once is a mistake but twice becomes a pattern" In that initial stage once you start seeing a pattern why wait till it consumes you?
There are people out there, that will come into our life informed of angels but deep down they are the devil's masters himself. And the good thing is the sign is always there, staring at us on our faces, So why wait when you can dodge a bullet and run for your dear life? Trust me this is coming from someone who has dodged a bullet many times.
this is me running for me dear life when I meet toxic people😅 gift image from peakd frontend