It was 2009 and I was a spritely 27 year old. I never really won anything before but when I was travelling to work I used to listen to a certain breakfast show in Ireland called the Ian Dempsey Breakfast Show. There was a mini segment called Gift Grub. The Irish contingency on Hive would know it well. @niallon11, @thehive @ablaze and maybe @trucklife-family. Anyway they were giving away a car on that weeks show. Everyday there would be a quiz where two listeners would go head to head in a quiz. The winner would then go to the end of the week and there would be another competition between all the daily winners on Friday. The winner selected from this would win a brand new BMW 3.20i coupe. The new model worth around €58k.
I was on train to work in Mullingar from Maynooth in Ireland. It was Monday and I love BMW's so I said feck it. I'll ring up to see if I would get through. 2 rings and I actually got through to their switchboard. They said I was one of the callers and I was to go head to head with a Shelia from Mayo. I wasn't prepared to go live on national radio but two minutes later myself and Shelia were battling it out tooth and nail.
"Question 1 : What Irish performer was on the Ellen DeGeneres yesterday?"
Shelia knew the answer. There were 2 questions. Feck, Shelia has this wrapped up. She answered correctly. I forgot who it was. Maybe Riverdance or U2.
Question 2: Then they played a clip of this little lad on his way home from the dentist stoned out off his head. They asked where he was coming home from. I got in and said dentist. Take that Shelia!! It's not over yet.
It had gone to a tie breaker. This was it. Make or Break. You could cut the tension with a knife. And then something amazing happened. I know what you are thinking. No Shelia did not get cut off the line or have a massive heart attack. The radio host gave Shelia the choice to go first or last for the next question because she was the first caller. It was a bit strange as there was no question asked yet. Shelia blurted out first. Then the radio host Ian asked the question,
"A comedian in Australia broke the world record for the most jokes told in an hour last week. How many jokes did he tell??"
"The closest to the answer wins. Shelia you decided to go first."
Shelia was rattled. She was ammming and umming to beat the band.
10 seconds later and Shelia was still hesitating. There was someone in the background shouting at her in a whisper.
"We have to push you Shelia."
"AHHHHH UUUUUMMMMMM 300......."
300 hundred jokes shouts Shelia all flustered.
"So @blanchy you are up next"
"How many jokes did he tell in one hour......?"
"It was way above 300 but if I went too high then that Shelia one would have me."
"So I decided to screw Shelia over good and proper. It's dog eat dog in this world Shelia and you made your bed by going first."
"301" I said.
"301??????"
"That would be correct Ian. 301. Final answer."
Ian the radio DJ went quiet and you could tell the radio producer was giving him instruction in his ear."
His cohost Mario Rosenstock was in hysterics calling me a crafty bugger."
Ian decided to tell us the answer.
"The correct answer is 2549 jokes!!!!"
"Congratulations @blanchy you are through to Friday for a chance to win a car. Hard luck Shelia."
"Shelia was fuming and I heard after the show that she complained to the powers that be that she was at a disadvantage."
Them's are the breaks Shelia babe.
That was Shelia out of the way. Roll on Friday.
I had training to do!!
Que Rocky montage
Source
Friday rolled on and I had all the family and friends listening. I was in bed with the new girlfriend who I ended up marrying which is lucky life number 2. The radio show rang me and gave me a 5 minute warning, The 4 winners of the daily prize were waiting while they were carrying out the quiz for the 5th winner.
"So today we have a piece of fruit in the glove compartment of the BMW 3.20i coupe. We have 5 balls that we will draw out. Each ball represents one of the daily winners. So we will put the balls into a drum."
"The first ball out is number 3 so Ann. What fruit is in the glove compartment"
"Kiwi" says Ann
Kiwi??? I thought to myself. It was 2009. Who eats Kiwis in Ireland??? Kiwis weren't introduced to Ireland until around 2008. Ann must be one of those South Dublin millionaire land rover milfs. Why was it the first fruit Ann fucking thought of?? If Kiwi was right then I'm jumping off a bridge and Ireland is dead.
"NOOOOOOOOO Ann. "Incorrect answer I am afraid."
"Right Let's go again. Roll the drum. Number 5. Frank. What fruit is in the glove compartment"
"Plum" says Frank.
Oh jesus christ I thought to myself. This is Ireland not fucking Italy. Where are all the apples and oranges???
"No I am sorry Frank Incorrect" said the radio host.
"Roll the drum. Number 1 ... Sally...."
"An orange?"
Oh fuck oh fuck, the first good answer.
"Incorrect Sally, unlucky."
"Lets roll the drum again......"
"Number 4 blanchy....."
There was one fruit that never let me down. Those pesky apples were a bastard to my teeth and were always getting caught in them so they were out of the running. The fruit I favoured most of all. It wasn't perfect but I always had a special place in my heart for it. I decided to go for it!!
"Banana?" I said asking rather than telling.
WINNNNNNNNNNNNNERRRRRRRRR THIS IS THE CORRECT ANSWER THE BMW 320i IS YOURS BLANCHY!!!!!!!!!!
WELL DONE!!!!!!!!
For the first time ever I was speechless. I was now the owner of a white BMW and had gone up a couple of rungs in the social ladder. The neighbour will be going mad seeing me rock up in a 58 BMW. My phone was on fire from friends asking me if I won a car on national radio.
Shelia must be abbbbbbbbbbsolutely fuming right now. Hahahah with her 300 jokes. I could fucking tell 300 jokes in an hour for god sake. It was her own fault. The radio show rang me and told me to ring the garage to pick out the colour, specs etc.
So I did and it was christened Milky from then on. It was some car. When you got in there was a robot arm which gave you your seatbelt. It had some power in it as well.
I had to get rid of it in the end. I had a pesky baby and the babyseat couldn't fit into the back of the coupe. I sold it but it was a sad sad day.
So there you have it. After this win I gave radio a break for a while but came back a year later and won a night in the Westbury from the same show. So some would call me very lucky. That's it for me now though. My luck days are over I think!
Thanks to @galenkp for the prompts this week. Great memories finally jotted down.