Good sex for me is the intimacy involved, the soft kisses and the gentle biting on the lips. It is how passionately our tongues lock while we kiss and the bond we create while in the act.
It is the slow peck and the feel of the soft lips on our body, the feel of the tongue on our breasts and genitals. The slow and consistent rhythm of the thrust or the ride for however long the duration of the exercise might be.
Good sex is also good music, lots, and plenty of kisses. Running of the fingers through the body and eye contact works too.
Good sex is Communication, showing care and concerns about how and what your partner is feeling. Are they in pain? Are they thirsty? Would they drink water? Are they tired? Do they need time out? Good sex is knowing when to stop or take a break.
Most especially, good sex is a safe and healthy practice done by financially and mentally stable people.
While you're at it, nothing else matters because you are both committed, it is not forced neither is it a financial transaction.
At the end of the heavenly bliss, you just cuddle and enjoy each other's warmth. You both shower, spice up the moment by taking turns to bathe and scrub yourselves. Get on some loose clothing afterward and eat.
Food could be junks, it could be take-outs or a properly home cooked meal. Thereafter, you could do Netflix and chill or just talk about life or any topic in particular.
The act of good sex transcends after the sex itself, and this is why I prefer sex in a relationship with someone I'm attracted to, and not just a random act because nature is taking a toll on my body with sexual urges.
Basically, all what I have described above is mostly not 100% attainable because after sex, most people especially the men just wants to go about their lives.
Sometimes, you'd be with your partner after the do, and they get on their phones, I find that really annoying and disrespectful because it's a moment that has to do with us. Thus, there shouldn't be any distractions. I should be your focus and you should be mine too.
I mean, we were just intimate a while ago and now we are being individualistic. You are rushing off to the bathroom to wash off, while I'm waiting my turn after you? No! It shouldn't be that way.
I am a very clingy and emotional person, and I would like my man to hold my hands to the bathroom afterward. I like being pampered and taken care of in all aspects.
BAD SEX
How do I describe a bad sex?
At a point in my life, I got a sex toy so all of us can rest because nothing is more irritating and annoying than a bad sex.
I had this partner that made sex feel like an obligation. One time during the do which was the last time, I just told him to stop and I would like to leave.
Often time I'd hear some men say, “I am hustling for my cum, let her hustle for her orgasm”, and I cringe with such statement because sex is not meant to be a selfish act.
One vital point worthy to note when it comes to female orgasm is that not all women climax or experience orgasm from penetration.
For some women, foreplay or oral sex sex does the trick and these take patience to achieve. They are not something you rush, and it's definitely not something you have to be aggressive about.
For some men, their definition of intimacy is penetration. One minute you both are kissing and the next minute, they are shifting your panties, unzipping their trousers and forcing their way through. No matter how much in the mood I get, the whole activity is dead on arrival as nothing will happen with such animalistic behaviour.
Some will not even give you the luxury of kissing you, you've barely arrived at their apartment, and they are already jumping you right there from the door post.
I really do not know what goes on with such men or if that's how they've been having it with other women, but that is bad sex for me.
One time, a talking stage asked me how I like my sex because he likes his fast and rough….
I looked at him and asked him, “fast and rough because I'm a prostitute or because you think I'm not worthy of being loved?” He got defensive, and then I broke it down for him…
"There's just sex and then there's love making. For me, it's love making and for you, obviously, it's just sex. Well, I'm sorry, but we are not going to work out."
Being able to ascertain my feelings and putting it first, has assisted me a lot in not getting emotionally entangled.
This blog is a response to the Weekend experience prompt. You can check it out HERE for any prompt of interest and get writing🙂
All images are mine