There is no one in my life if there is no me.
It's not much of an opening line, please excuse me, I could think of no other way to write my thoughts. I've had three cups of coffee today so it's possible I'm not making any sense at all.
I have had an interesting life; that means beautiful moments and terrible ones mixed with everyday generic ones. I've been fortunate to have had people drift into my sphere and, thankfully, drift away from it also, and mostly it's those people who have been responsible for those aforementioned moments - Them, and myself combined.
The only constant in my life has been life itself though. Myself.
When thinking about value in people there are variables, angles and aspects to think about.
I have seen value, and lack of it, in the same person including myself, and have applied a subjective view dependent upon the moment and situation. I find actions that create bad life-moments compound, many folded upon each other, repeated action, and those people are the ones I'm happy to see drift away, sometimes somewhat sadly though. It's also the compounding of good actions that have caused so many beautiful moments for me and I am ever-grateful to those who chose that path and invited me along with them.
It suits me to see myself as valuable to others and nice that some have valued me enough to tell me so. However, in thinking on who my own most valuable person is, the answer can only be myself.
It may seem selfish to many however I don't feel I can act and be valuable to others if I'm not that way with myself. Based on that postulation, I look after myself physically and emotionally, that is, value myself.
I care for myself and taking the time to understand why I feel a certain way, happy, sad, generous, afraid, lonely, fragile, hedonistic, humiliated, sensual, awkward, ugly, beautiful or whatever I may feel in the moment is important to my sense of value. Knowing how and why I feel a particular way allows me the ability to accept or change and find growth to be ok. If I am ok for me, I can be ok for those around me.
I make no apology for being my most valued person and I believe everyone should feel the same. I'm not selfish, however make and find the time for myself because if I can't be the best form of myself, find the right vantage point to observe myself from and like what I see, I cannot give my best to the valued people I have around me, and I really want to do so because I value them.
An entry for the Weekend-Engagement blog prompt week 98.
Becca 💗