In philosophical matters I was always a lousy student, or I just got bored when the teacher went back to the abstract cloud of the idyllic questioning of being or not being... so I was not very good with dialectics and the scrutiny of why we are one way or another.
That is why what I can write on this subject today is subjected to emotional issues strictly.
Life led me, excuse me! I led myself, to make decisions that personally do not weigh on me although I do feel a certain nostalgic but not at all whiny touch about not having had children at the right time, yes, that's the truth, but I did have a little girl who is the skin of my bones.
Technically she is not my child, but she is, I don't know if you understand me, she has my blood and we are alike in a thousand things but she was not born from me, but from my father, may God rest his soul, and as he had her at an advanced age the baby is the perfect age to be mine, although not my property, I learned with time that she has her own autonomy, something like that 😬.
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All the time I tried to influence her, positively of course, although being honest I admit that I was too strict and that had its negative consequences, I mean in terms of studies, always trying to mould her to my image and likeness, obviating a little her personal tastes and vocational attitudes, and I dare to confess to myself that I managed to activate in a very subtle and mature way a noble and responsible character in her from her adolescence to date.
Why then do people believe that they cannot influence "their close "people" to change certain aspects of their character, their attitudes, or their thoughts?
First of all, it is quite unlikely that you can influence someone who is not family, who is not a friend, if in fact within your family everyone is different, right?
There will always have to be a strong enough bond that allows you to achieve a spiritual connection with the person over whom you want to establish "a mould" for change, and the most important thing is that YOU are the reason for their admiration, that they want to copy you, that they respect you, and above all that they love you, that will make things easier, maybe it sounds manipulative, but from the perspective that it is done with the best intentions I do not give space to human wickedness, ok?
However, each person is genetically different, and elementary issues such as character and personality will emerge against all odds...for example: I would like to, no, I have tried to soften and tame my child's explosive character in the face of certain basic issues in life, and this has been really difficult for me.
Will she find the same tolerance for "her faults" outside her home environment that her family has whith her?
People are prepared from the bosom of the family to live in society, to form a family, to work and, following the natural order of life, to have children, so there are a series of codes of conduct that need to be inculcated if you observe attitudes that are not very tolerant of society.
FAMILY defines your essence as a person and influences your expressive character.
Watch out, children are watching you and copying you!
However, I would never dare to try to change "something" about a friend, because I knew them as they are, but we can influence their thoughts or attitudes, taking into account that this friend values you as one of their favourite human beings...
In the end, will we really be able to change someone who NEEDS change?
Then we will be asking ourselves another question
Why would you want to change someone, or why not change yourself?
I will give you one last example, in my work there was a 22 year old young man with problems in various areas, he did not comply with the rules of his work, he did not tolerate being called attention to and fell into disrespect, we tried to raise awareness through people close to him, people who understand him better and who have strong ties of friendship and family, but all to no avail.
The result: He is separated from his job, and if he does not change his attitude he will not be able to work anywhere else.
In other words, if you do not comply with certain norms of the society, the society will leave you out of it.
So WHEN do we change?
✔️Only when we are willing to do so.
This is my entry participating in the topics proposed by @galenpk for this weekend in this beautiful community.
If you could change something about someone close to you, what would you change, and why?
- Photos taken with Redmi 9C
- Banner with Canva
- Translator: Deepl.com (free version)
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I apologise for the translation of this text as my main language is Spanish.
