Your biggest meme coin holding is down 90%, and you're the last person who posted in the Telegram group hours ago. Your raid gets canceled after 120 minutes of inactivity, with just two likes and no comments. This, my friend, is the glamorous life of a meme coin investor.
Meanwhile, nine-figure market genius Andrew Wang declares this cycle is over. "Kole World, innit?" you mutter to yourself, trying to muster some semblance of optimism.
Your alpha group leader smugly congratulates the group on taking profits back in March. You didn’t. They’re scaling into long-term positions on dips while posting vacation pics, sipping margaritas in some tropical paradise.
Saylor isn’t talking much right now. It doesn’t seem likely he’ll put up another legendary buy wall to save you this time. You're on your own in this digital wilderness.
You spent most of the last couple of months farming airdrops, but decided to margin trade your airdrop. You got liquidated margin longing the July 4th dump. Brilliant move, Sherlock.
You get a notification on your phone: your average screen time is up 10% this week, firmly over 10 hours a day. How productive.
During dinner with your family, you sneakily check DexScreener to see if any F-list celebrity might have dropped a token you can ride for a quick 2x before it rugs. Dinner conversation? Who needs it?
Your IRL friend, also into crypto, says he’s waiting until the Fed cuts rates to reenter markets. “Smart,” you say, while pondering how to pay the final installment on the kitchen remodel you ordered months ago at your portfolio's all-time high.
Your wife asks why you’re buying the gross chicken from the supermarket instead of the organic kind you used to get. Because, honey, we're ballin' on a budget now.
The next CPI reading comes on Thursday this week, and the meta is predicting massive derisking going into it. Great, more volatility to mess with your head.
Everyone agrees we’re going much, much higher eventually, but you don’t have enough in your savings to wait until Q4 without liquidating the last $10,000 of meme coins that still have enough liquidity to sell into. Patience is a virtue, but so is paying bills.
People recommend touching grass, but your lawn needs mowing and your lawnmower seems like it’s about to die after five years of heavy use. Perfect timing.
Your college friends are planning a bougie get-together with their families at an expensive VRBO. You lie and say work is too busy to make it, maybe next year. Social life? What’s that?
You still haven’t finished your 2023 taxes and, to be honest, are afraid to see what the number is going to be when you do. Ignorance is bliss, right?
Crypto is depressing