Ever since I did the She Wolf workshop back in December, I have tried to embody, what I took away from it. How I really need to take responsibility for how I react. Yes I can get triggered, but at the end of the day I get to choose how I react and that is where we get to take our power back, especially when you react to someone who likes to provoke you. Instead of reacting from a place of anger, I have been reacting from a place of calm, of gentleness.
Because ultimately, I strive to be more gentle and calm with myself. These last few months, have been quite the journey, as I have had a few opportunities to practice, what I preached. To choose to not take on what the other says, the little comments directed at me and passed onto me by my girls. So far I have succeeded. To just ignore it all, even though it still makes an impact, only this time not so big. Through it all, its brought me a sense of peace, that I was not expecting.
I'm walking home, choosing an alternative route, from my usual one. A much less busier road, that allows me to focus more, to reflect more. To check in with myself. These moments mean so much to me, in my very busy life. Having moments of silence, with no one to interrupt me. To reflect on how far I have come. How finally grasping the power of taking full responsibility for my actions, has changed my life. Made me see things more clearly.
A few weeks back, when I attended a Biodanza session, we were invited to forgive those who have wronged us. To imagine that they were in front of us and that we had the opportunity to send back to them, all the emotions we tied into our relationship with them and finally be at peace with that relationship. I found the forgiveness part difficult, but not having the opportunity to release all the emotions I was holding onto. The resentment, the pain, the anger. I let it go. Which really helped me, to approach that person in a different way.
I'm walking home and the wind continues to blow hard here. Which is very fitting for what I sm going through. I love that the closer I get to the mountains, the closer I get to my home. That their presence, is so welcoming. These Mountains, where many hid, during Franco's time. These mountains, housed many rebels and as a result were targeted heavily by Franco's army and many lives were lost. There is the blood of many a brave person, spilled all around here. The mountains a reminder to fight for what is right.
There is so much history around these parts. If these Mountains could talk, one could only imagine the stories they would tell, about those who took refuge in them. It saddens me that today, wars continue to be found, lives continue to be lost. Have we learnt nothing at all. That's how it seems to me. And yet I know we have, on an individual level, we are learning all of the time. Things are changing, if we take the time to really see
It's just, it can take some time to happen.
Because for anything to change, we need to first change our perspective. To change the way we look at things. For me, I needed to step out of the victim role, to stop focusing on how I was being made to feel and instead focus on how I wanted to feel. To stop letting others take my power, by feeding into their actions. I can honestly say, that I am proud of myself.
All photos are mine, taken today as I walked home a different route.
