Embracing Victory and Loss: The Psychology of Uncontrollable Outcomes

Winning is not a sometime thing; it’s an all the time thing. You don’t win once in a while… you don’t do things right once in a while… you do them right all the time. Winning is a habit. Unfortunately so is losing.Vince Lombardi


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"I will sail across the ocean, if nothing prevents me" - Seneca


I'm working on a new book summary. I'm reading the The Little Book of Stoicism by Jonas Salzbeber. Stoicism is a philosophy from ancient Greece and Rome that has become popular again.

Stoics embody two seemingly opposing ideas. They strive to live with arate, which means excellence. They believe being the best version of themselves moment to moment is the highest pursuit. That means they're detached from external rewards.

The quote above from Seneca is an example of how Stoics remain detached. Anyone can sail across the ocean, as long as nothing prevents them. This idea can best be explained by the example of an archer. The archers' locus of control is his technique, which he develops in practice. But once he releases an arrow he no longer has control. If fate wants a bird to fly in between the arrow and the target, he has no say in the matter.

Detachment seems reasonable at first. There are things we can't control so it doesn't make sense to want what we might not get.

This attitude seems to clash with the philosophy of winning from Vince Lombardi. Winning was everything to Vince Lombardi.


Winning is not a sometime thing; it's an all the time thing.


Vince Lombardi's philosophy on winning was heavily influenced by Stoicism. So how do these two opposing ideas work together?

They're actually identical. The ancient Stoics loved to use gladiators in their examples, so I'll do the same. Imagine a fighter in a training camp. The camp is three months and the fighter and his coach must do everything they can to prepare for the fight.

Fortunately, the coach is schooled in Stoicism. So he plans out every moment of the fight camp. He creates daily goals and every time they're achieved he counts them as a victory. With this strategy, his fighter achieves many small victories before he steps into the ring.

In doing this, the coach and fighter develop the habit of winning before the moment of truth. This is what Vince Lombardi did with his players. He aligned his team's goals with the requirements for victory and made sure they were achieved in a controlled environment. By the time his players stepped onto the field, they had already won thousands of times.

The victory was guaranteed as long as fate didn't get in the way.

If you follow the Stoic path and make arate your true goal, you give yourself the best chance for victory. But it matters less whether you win or not. If you give it your all and still fail you can leave the arena with pride and dignity. The superficial loss will be nothing compared to the real victory which is becoming the best version of yourself.

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