Hello, today I am going to talk about the relationship between siblings or generally speaking about the relationship between children in the family.
We are probably not the only ones in this situation, so I think this information would be useful to more people.
Long story short - my son has an older brother from another mother. We are allowed to see him twice a month and he is court appointed.
One of the things we insist on is that the children have a close relationship. They are brothers, at some point in their lives they need to know that they have someone they can rely on.
In the moments before my son came along, all the attention was with the older boy. That's normal, I've accepted him as my child even though he's not. I love him and wish him nothing but the best. I want to offer him the best his father and I are capable of.
The child was happy, surrounded by so much love and attention.
When the little one came along, things changed a bit because that love and attention had to be shared. The little baby needed more attention because he couldn't handle things his older brother had mastered years before. We noticed that there was some jealousy brewing in the older boy - it was normal. Until now all the attention has been on him and now there are two of them.
I am of the opinion that once a child is in my home then the responsibility for him is mine - that is I accept him as my child.
When the little one turned 1 and started to move freely around the playroom, he increasingly sought out his brother. He wanted closeness with him, probably because he recognizes that even though his brother is 6 years older, he is little just like him. This continues now.
But the other thing appeared. The older brother, started hiding various toys in order not to give them to the little one. Lines started with tears and snot because until a few hours ago the little one was playing with a toy stroller and now his brother has hidden it somewhere or put it up high on a cabinet and won't give it to him.
We talked to the older one and now it's cleared up. We encourage them to play together with a constructor, draw or even chase each other.
Since the time spent together is very little so far I have only been able to build a few ways to get them involved with each other. But hopefully when the little one starts talking more freely things will change.
What do my boys do together?
We play a few games
We draw. It's always interesting when we have time to do it. I give them both a hardcover folder and a bag full of several sets of pencils. They each draw their own artwork - yes the little one basically wants to draw on his brother's drawing and the big one gets a little angry, but after 2-3 strokes on the "someone else's" sheet the little one refuses to ink someone else's artwork. The daddy likes to draw comics with different monsters he has made up.
We build different towers and weapons with lego constructor. This builder is not exactly from the Lego company but the principle is the same. It has larger elements so a toddler can't choke if he decides to taste any part. The basic game is for the bigger one to make a figure and the little one to destroy it with laughter and shouts. Yes, the big one gets mad about the ruined piece but doesn't give up and makes a new one because he likes the little one's laughter.
We arrange puzzles. Or to be more precise, we wait for the little one to fall asleep and with the bigger one we solve puzzles because the little one wants to snatch all the puzzle pieces behind the sofa. After he wakes up from his afternoon nap we show him what his brother has built.
We are playing with cars. A few months ago I had ordered from a popular Chinese merchandise site some masking tape that was printed in the colors of a highway. I taped it to the floor and now we have a track big enough for the two of them to play on and not get in each other's way.
We go out to the playground. There they both play in the sandbox if the weather permits and draw with chalk.
There are a lot of things I'm trying to get these two little boys to start having a closer relationship, some are working some not yet. But I'm not giving up! It is important to me that they know they are friends and most of all brothers for life!
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