Hola mi querida comunidad de mamitas y papitos, les saludo esperando que todo marche muy bien en sus vidas.
Hoy quiero contarles una historia y reflexionar sobre ella porque no sé si conocen un caso similar, pero quiero abordar el tema de los sentimientos de los niños y como los podmeos ir moldeando o como ellos mismos van cambiando su perspectiva de vida.
Mi Migue y yo...
Miguelángel es mi ahijado. Tiene 13 años (aunque le vivo diciendo que son 11🤣) y su mami y yo hemos sido amigas por más de 25 años. Ella me eligió para ser la madrina de su primogénito y yo sin dudarlo le dije que si ¡Toda una propuesta!
El único detalle, al pasar del tiempo era que: Migue no me quería 💔.
Hello my dear community of mommies and daddies, I greet you hoping that everything is going very well in your lives. Today I want to tell you a story and reflect on it because I do not know if you know a similar case, but I want to address the issue of children's feelings and how we can mold them or how they themselves are changing their perspective on life. My Migue and me... Miguelángel is my godson. He is 13 years old (although I keep telling him it's 11🤣) and his mommy and I have been friends for more than 25 years. She chose me to be the godmother of her firstborn and without hesitation I said yes. The only detail, as time went by was that: Migue didn't want me 💔.
Aunque en la foto estoy sonriendo, verla me causa mucho dolor. Yo no entendía muy bien el asunto y si hubiera tenido inteligencia emocional, le hubiese ahorrado ese sufrimiento que él tenía de su día especial: el bautizo.
Años después nos reimos porque en ese tiempo yo tenía el cabello amarillo, entonces, no le culpo de no quererme, ni yo misma me aceptaba con ese color. Pero sin desviarnos, el hecho está que no me podía ni ver o escuchar porque corría, se escondía, lloraba, me rechazaba, era imposible estar en el mismo lugar.
Para ese tiempo habían niños en mi casa (estaban mis sobrinos), y ellos me trataban normal, entonces no entendía por que él sentía aversión en mi contra si no tenía el tiempo suficiente como para crearse una imagen de mí.
Although I am smiling in the photo, the sight of it causes me a lot of pain. I did not understand the matter very well and if I had had emotional intelligence, I would have spared him that suffering he had on his special day: the baptism. Years later we laughed because at that time I had yellow hair, so I don't blame him for not loving me, even I didn't accept myself with that color. But without getting sidetracked, the fact is that he couldn't even see or hear me because he would run, hide, cry, reject me, it was impossible to be in the same place. At that time there were children in my house (there were my nephews), and they treated me normally, so I did not understand why he felt aversion against me if he did not have enough time to create an image of me.
En aquel tiempo, yo no vivía en la ciudad, así que cada vez que volvía tomaba el tiempo para visitarlo. Al principio como dije me sentía mal, pero luego buscamos estrategias para acercarme.
Una eran los regalos. Ya fueran materiales o inmateriales como visitas en su casa para que no se sintiera atacado, poco tiempo para no perturbarle su espacio y algo simbólico para que me recordara.
Eso me daba tiempo para acercarme a él, tomarme alguna foto, y seguir con el plan de que me quisiera. Y no porque fuera obligado sino porque siendo su madrina, tengo que estar pendiente y cerca de él.
PATIENCE At that time, I didn't live in the city, so every time I came back I took the time to visit him. At first as I said I felt bad, but then we looked for strategies to bring me closer. One was gifts. Whether they were material or immaterial such as visits to his house so he wouldn't feel attacked, little time so as not to disturb his space and something symbolic so he would remember me. That gave me time to get close to him, take a picture, and continue with the plan to make him love me. And not because I had to, but because being his godmother, I had to be aware and close to him.
Esta era otra forma de estar con él, que no se diera cuenta que yo estaba allí; entonces entre todos lo entreteníamos y salían las fotos. Igualmente me evitaba pero al menos ya no lloraba. Igual para mí siempre fue importante tenerlo cerca porque, así se iba acostumbrando a verme.
Una de las virtudes que aprendí con Migue fue la paciencia. Yo sabía que él crecería, que podríamos compartir de otra forma y podría preguntarle ¿por qué su comportamiento? los niños no mienten y él me diría la verdad. Y no se trataba de rogarle u obligarlo, le di su tiempo para que pudiera conocerme y tener más contacto conmigo (además que me quité ese color amarillo del cabello) y eso funcionó.
This was another way to be with him, so that he would not realize that I was there; then we all entertained him and the pictures came out. He still avoided me, but at least he didn't cry anymore. It was always important for me to have him close to me because that way he got used to seeing me. One of the virtues I learned with Migue was patience. I knew that he would grow up, that we could share in a different way and I could ask him why his behavior? children don't lie and he would tell me the truth. And it wasn't about begging or forcing him, I gave him his time so he could get to know me and have more contact with me (plus I took that yellow color out of my hair) and that worked.
Esta foto fue del momento que se iba del país y aunque aún seguía un poco evasivo, pudimos hablar un poco porque aunque era pequeño entendía muchas cosas y le dije que no me olvidara que yo lo iría a visitar.
Migue siempre estuvo pendiente de esa promesa y cuando pude los visité. Asumo que ya estaba más grande y extrañaba a su familia por lo que encontrarnos fue una gran alegría para él... Todos esos años de tristeza se convirtieron en alegría ¡Que felices fuimos! Allí jugábamos, salíamos, comíamos helado, veíamos alguna película, lo llevé a su colegio, es decir, verdaderamente construimos un vínculo inquebrantable.
This photo was taken when he was leaving the country and although he was still a little evasive, we were able to talk a little because although he was small he understood many things and I told him not to forget that I would visit him. Migue always kept that promise and when I could I visited them. I assume he was already older and missed his family so meeting us was a great joy for him.... All those years of sadness turned into joy How happy we were! There we played, we went out, we ate ice cream, we watched a movie, I took him to his school, that is to say, we truly built an unbreakable bond.
Esta foto ¡Me encanta! Justo me estaba esperando porque ya sabía "que su madrina Flor" estaría de visita y cuando llegué él mismo quiso hacerse esa foto conmigo. Atrás, habían quedado esos días de angustia y tristeza y hasta ahora hemos mantenido ese amor y cariño.
I love this picture! He was waiting for me because he already knew “that his godmother Flor” would be visiting and when I arrived he wanted to take this picture with me. Those days of anguish and sadness were behind us and until now we have kept that love and affection.
Actualmente, vino de visita a mi hogar y pude constatar que ha crecido. Esta en esa etapa de que quiere que lo traten como adulto pero tiene comportmaientos de niño y bueno, también se debe tener paciencia y adaptarse a sus cambios y sus decisiones, siempre acompañándolo pero fomentado su independencia e identidad.
Currently, he came to visit my home and I could see that he has grown up. He is in that stage where he wants to be treated as an adult but has childish behaviors and well, you must also be patient and adapt to his changes and decisions, always accompanying him but encouraging his independence and identity.
Acá tengo la prueba que lo estamos haciendo bien, que tenemos una relación sana y feliz, llena de amor y fomentandole que en mi puede confiar tanto como una persona que lo ama y estará para él siempre.
Here I have the proof that we are doing well, that we have a healthy and happy relationship, full of love and encouraging him that he can trust me as a person who loves him and will always be there for him.
Es díficil tener un manual para decir te quiere por esto o esto, solo debemos tener paciencia y mucho amor; ganas de mantener el vínculo y poder de decisión porque, pude muy fácil decir "ese no es familia mía" o "si no me quiere mejor para mí", "no le ruego a hombre y le voy a rogar a él" y cosas así que ¡JAMAS! Pasaron por mi mente. Siempre fuí paciente, respeté su espacio y hoy me ama y respeta como !Su madrina Flor!❣️ De hecho, tiene otros padrinos, pero conmigo es que tiene más contacto😎.
Ahora si me gustaría saber si has tenido una experiencia similar y cómo lo has tomado.
It is difficult to have a manual to say he loves you for this or this, we just have to have patience and a lot of love; desire to maintain the link and power of decision because, I could very easily say “he is not my family” or “if he does not love me better for me”, “I do not beg a man and I will beg him” and things like that that NEVER! ever crossed my mind. I was always patient, I respected his space and today he loves and respects me as his godmother Flor!❣️ In fact, he has other godparents, but he has more contact with me😎.
Now if I would like to know if you have had a similar experience and how you have taken it.
The pictures are part of my digital album. The cover and the divider I made them in Canvas. The translator I used is Deepl.