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The bubonic plague
The Holocaust
Hiroshima and Nagasaki
Throughout history, there have been multiple disasters and unfortunate occurrences,
There are many words you can use to describe most of these events.
Terrible, heartbreaking, horrific...
But there are only a select few that can be describe with the word "cringe"
and out of those select few,
only one is truly deserving of that title..
and that is the introduction of CROCS.
Crocs are the definition of cringe, and the fact that they've taken over the world is proof that humans make bad decisions.
Now before I decided to write this article, I was advised not to as I'd probably make enemy of croc lovers (which apparently is 90% of the population)
But I don't care!
I have taken it upon myself to open the eyes of the brainwashed and save them from this plague of Crocs.
It is my desire .. no... my duty!
For those that are confused, lemme break down this article in simple points
• Crocs suck
• I hate crocs
• If you wear crocs, you're lame
• Stop wearing Crocs
CROCS SUCK
Before we delve into why Crocs suck, let's first go into some history.
Crocs was created in the early 2000s by 3 guys, and one of them have been arrested multiple times for various crimes. (not surprised). They're the ones that started this horror and I will never forgive them.
When it started, it was meant to just be a comfy foot covering, similar to bathroom slippers.
But of course, humans always take things too far.
Crocs have now turned into a fashion item.
People wear Crocs with suits... SUITS!
If that isn't enough to show how far we've fallen, nothing is.
So why exactly do they suck?
well it's simple;
They are ugly.
I don't care what your tastes are, ugly is ugly. And Crocs are ugly.
No matter how modernized and designed they make it to try to convince you it's fine, they will always be ugly.
I HATE CROCS
Yes, I know no one cares about my opinions, but that won't stop me from voicing them as loud as I can.
I hate Crocs and I'm proud of that.
I've had many regrets and I've made many mistakes, but one thing I will never regret is my decision to never wear Crocs.
To be honest, I can't really tell you why I hate Crocs.
I think it started when I was younger and first heard the word "crocs". I thought it had something to do with crocodiles and I was excited. Crocodiles are like some of the most badass animals and I was already imagining how they were related to footwear. Imagine my disappointment when I saw what Crocs actually were.
You might say it was my fault for being dumb and setting high expectations.
I don't care.
IF YOU WEAR CROCS YOU'RE LAME
If you wear Crocs for anything apart from indoor wear, you're lame.
The footwear just doesn't look natural. I've seen people wear it with different types of clothing and combinations. And they look awkward every time.
Why do people wear crocs?
Apparently it's comfortable.
You know what else is comfortable?
Pyjamas.
and you don't see me wearing those outside.
And there are people out there buying Crocs that are more expensive than sneakers all because they have a little design ... sickening!
STOP WEARING CROCS
Sure they are comfortable and cheap and easy to wear and remove and long lasting and blah blah
but you're forgetting the most important thing...
They're ugly.
And they represent our decline as a society.
I know everyone reading this post is beautiful; so why make your feet look ugly?
It doesn't make any sense.
No, I won't stand for it!
I am here to free your feet from this prison called Crocs.
Martin Luther King Jr fought against inequality.
Nelson Mandela fought against apartheid.
Me...
I'm fighting against hideous footwear.
I'm a hero!
So let us save the planet.
I don't know how, but I know crocs damage the earth.
and if you don't care about the planet, then save my eyes.
CONCLUSION
I know there are many croc lovers and this article might be offensive.
So before anyone starts getting angry, I just want to clarify...
I mean every single word😑
Come and beat me.
Crocs have always and will always suck, and that's just the plain truth.
No matter what color, no matter what material, no matter what design,
As long as it's Crocs, then it sucks.
And that brings us to the end of my TED talk.
Before I go, I wrote a short poem in honor of Crocs.
Ahem...
Crocs,
Why do you look so bad?
Why does seeing you make me sad?
I hate the fact that you're so famous.
If you were a body part, you'd be the anus.
I hope you die away like other hideous clothing trends.
I look forward to your satisfying end.
This is one of my entries to the The LOLZ's FUN House COMtest.
It's a banging contest so y'all please participate.
Let's have some fun!😤👇🏾
@comedyopenmic/the-lolzs-fun-house-comtest-announcement-50-hive-and-2000-fun-tokens-in-prizes
Thank you for reading.
Stay buzzing,
Maximus✍🏾